If You're Going Through Hell

[Gwenivere]

It’s very unlike Kay not to check in.  I saw her last login was Monday.  She could be at her sons, but even then she’d look in.  I’m going to send her a private mail and see if she responds.  I don’t have her phone or I’d call her.

[Margm]

"On Monday night, smoke from local fires clouded the Eugene-Springfield area, reducing visibility down to a mile or less. Heavy smoke and ash have since persisted in the area."

The above was taken from the "Register-Guard" newspaper (I might have spelled things wrong), but know Kay is somewhere in the mountains around Eugene.  No!!!  I do not know that for sure, I am guestimating and I do that wrong a lot of times.  

A friend put on FB this morning the areas and we need to hear from Kay.  

I'm sorry, I did have her number and I just went through every page of my address book and cannot find it.  I have not taken my blood pressure pill yet (fixing to take it), so I won't get too excited.  We know Kay.  That gal knows what to do and when to do it.  

[KarenK]

Kay is about 40 miles east of Eugene. A news report said fire had closed the highway in both directions in her community on Tuesday and there are a lot of power outages in the area. Hoping loss of power is the only reason we haven't heard from her and she is surely safe.

[widow'15]

Thank you Karen for your input.  According to kay's location on Grief Forum, she lives in Oakridge, OR.  I googled and you are right, roads were blocked and power interrupted.  Keeping her and Kodie in our prayers and hearts and hoping she is in a safe place.  Dee

[Gwenivere]

I just watched the news and it terrifying how many fires are happening in WA, OR and CA.  Heat and pain made my errands very hard today, but I was feeling really lightheaded which I think was the trapped smoke.  It felt like oxygen loss.  It’s over 80 in my house now after 7pm.  

Kays a survivor, so I sure hope she is OK.  The magnitude of these fires hasn’t been seen before.  She’s been thru so much with power and snow as well.  She didn’t reply to personal email.  She’s in a lot of pain with her hands too to top it off.  

[Kieron]

I was wondering about some of you out that direction.  It's been very cold here, and wet.  We don't need the moisture at all, and we are due for more scattered showers tomorrow.  I could see my breath outside this morning.  This is crazy! 

[widow'15]

54 minutes ago, Gwenivere said:

I just watched the news and it terrifying how many fires are happening in WA, OR and CA.

Gwen:  Down here in Tacoma have had some smoke two days ago but none today that I could tell.  Sorry you are dealing with so much smoke up there in Seattle.  It was warmer today, probably close to 90 degrees.  The weatherman is predicting rain by Monday = hope he/she is correct.  We need RAIN really bad on the Pacific Coast = might help some of these fires - just don't need anymore wind. 

 

35 minutes ago, Kieron said:

We don't need the moisture at all, and we are due for more scattered showers tomorrow

Kieron:  Wish you could send some moisture this way.  We will take it just now.  Dee

[Kieron]

I've been wishing it away from here and where it is needed, but so far that's not working.  🤨  I've noticed a trend toward cooler and wetter summers, since I've been here so long.

[kayc]

19 hours ago, KarenK said:

Kay is about 40 miles east of Eugene. A news report said fire had closed the highway in both directions in her community on Tuesday and there are a lot of power outages in the area. Hoping loss of power is the only reason we haven't heard from her and she is surely safe.

I'm actually a little further because I'm in the mountains above Oakridge, about 50 miles to my grocery store in Spfd, Eugene is about 60-75 miles away depending on which section.  Far as I know ours is the only Hwy that hasn't closed (58), but we've had wrecks, fire, etc. there too so not always open this last week.

You guys should have enjoyed the peace and quiet while you had it, now your chatterbox is back!  

[Margm]

Chatter is better than "badder" thoughts.  Glad you are okay and good to hear from you.  Keep us posted.

[Kieron]

I think we'd prefer radio chatter better than radio silence. 😊

[Gwenivere]

This is the first day I can see and smell the smoke.  The weather last night said it would be trapped in Seattle big time today and they were right.  It looks odd if sun breaks thru.  We are sealed by clouds keeping it locked in.  I can’t get rid of the smell and taste.  Supposed to get rain, but not until next week.  Temps whacky too.  I could barely stand the heat yesterday and today I’m cold.  I’ve never had so many clothes lying around for this craziness.

[widow'15]

I just texted my SIL who lives in SE Portland.  They are just now packing the car getting ready to evacuate per the mayor's orders.  Keeping them in my prayers.  My SIL just had back surgery about a month ago and should only be walking as she recovers and not lifting and carrying stuff.  😢  Dee

[Margm]

When the hurricane flattened Cameron and Lake Charles, La., it left nothing standing, not sure if anything is left to get electricity to.  They have had some though times in the state, but this seems horrible.  After Billy left I had no hopes of ever seeing the big redwoods and the John Muir Wilderness, but they were thousands of years old.  I know they will grow back and many things will, but homes won't and people's lives won't.  We are having such a hard time in the world right now, I still won't read the Biblical book of Revelations.  Been to too many studies of it and it scares me, just as "now" scares me.  I saw the boys play football last night and I know some of the other sports players have had the Covid and were left with cardiomyopathy.  I know no one ever thought it would go on so long.  

Just read this article: Redwoods, some 2,000 years old, survive wildfire at California's oldest state park. Fire burns in the hollow of an old-growth redwood tree in Big Basin Redwoods State Park, Calif. The CZU Lightning Complex wildfire tore through the park but most of the redwoods, some as old as 2,000 years, were still standing.Aug 24, 2020.

Billy and I always headed west in the RV.  We determined one time we were going to go east, but when it came time to turn, it was always west.  We were planning our first trip in the new RV to the northern California area, nearer the eastern part of it.  We had distant cousins that had left Louisiana during the gold rush so many years ago and our genealogical cousin had it where we were going to visit.  We didn't get to go, but my cousin hooked up with our distant relatives and they still write each other.  I loved wilderness areas and we had toured the Gila, Aldo Leopold, and so many more.  

We worry more about the little mountain towns and cities that are leveled or in danger.  This virus has decimated people of their jobs, their insurance, their homes, their lives.  I am so sorry.  When I paid my rent there was a young man explaining why he couldn't pay and she had to do her job and gave him awhile or had to evict him.  I put my check in front of her and left fast.  I see how it must have been during the Great Depression, the Oklahoma Dust Bowl, and other illnesses before vaccines.  If I had money I would have paid his rent.

[Gwenivere]

I don’t know what other states are doing, but our governor has suspended evictions and frozen house and rent payments for those in need.  When payments do come back, no penalties or interest.  It’s the only humane thing to do.  Empty homes and apartments don’t get the owners any money either.  

I wonder as well at the timing of so many things happening right now that are endangering the human race.  I try and keep that 'randomness' article I read in mind.  Nature has just gone crazy and is colliding with itself and we are the prey.  Very disconcerting.  

This wildfire smoke is spooky.  Can’t see anything beyond a mile if that.  They say don’t open the windows, but I have to have air flow.  Lots of sneezing and sore throats.  Making people jumpy about the virus when it’s not that.  We’re being advised not to take walks til this clears out.  

[Margm]

This leaves only one day, Today.
Any person can fight the battle of just one day.
It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down.

It is not the experience of Today that drives a person mad,
it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring.

Let us, therefore, Live but one day at a time.

Copied from part of a long writing about living one day at a time.  The author was anonymous. Actually, that is all we can do anyhow, but it won't keep me from worrying.  Really, when I had cancer I could take all this meditation in and use it.  Have not since.  

I watched the news the whole day.  Maybe because it was 9/11,  This is not something someone who is not sane anyhow should do.  
 

[KarenK]

Dates are full of coincidence. In addition to the obvious events of 9\11, my mother died on 9\11 and my son was born on 9\11. My father died on 1\14 and my oldest grandson was born on 1\14. Just a bit weird.

Clever writing you found about living one day at a time, Marg. I read something once about letting tomorrow take care of itself. The big problem being that tomorrow never takes care of itself.  lol

It has been almost a yellow day here. A strange color in the sky. We are getting haze from the California fires.

[Margm]

Yeah days are ironic.  One grandfather dying on my sister's birthday and five months later the other grandfather, younger than my son, dying on my 14th birthday.  I keep getting Billy's mixed up, October 15.  No, it was October 17, 2015.  I don't like October and will not read something published or a movie produced in 2015.  Stupid idiosyncrasies.  

I guess you can sure write things wrong.  Of course my grandfather was not younger than my son when I was 14.  

[Gwenivere]

You’re right, Karen.  Every tomorrow becomes a today and we have to deal with it.  I’ve lost the ability to have hope it will be a better day.  That bothers me the most because it’s gets proven over and over.  What were once comforting routines are now redundant routines spent alone.  Even the new ones are to fill in gaps where there were none and never shared times.   I so miss Steve when I wake up just as I know you do your husband and daughter.  So many things that have lost meaning without them.  Every day that something nice happens I can’t share it with him.  The days that are bad he’s not there to comfort me.  I can’t be there for him and that was the role of my life.  I don’t want to change careers.  Maybe that is why I’m so downtrodden.  No, not maybe.....why I am.  Everything I’ve tried has been a settlement.  Only time spent with my dogs, now sans Ally, has any feeling to me.  I’d give anything to.talk to my mother.  She always made things better by just holding me and whispering she loved me in my ear.  Talk about full circle.  Back to the only other person who could truly fill me and she’s gone too.  

I look at my 'plans' for the weekend and sigh.  No plans that mean anything.  Just fill in the hours to going to sleep.   Hoping it will be a haven but that’s a gamble too.  

[KarenK]

It bothers me that I have nothing to look forward to or get excited about. No vacations, spur of the moment trips, trips to see Debbie, dinner out, arts and crafts shows, and anything else fun we used to do. I certainly don't have your pain or worry of possible surgery, but I definitely share your boredom and aloneness. Grocery shopping is my only activity and not a pleasant one with the outrageous prices and the suffocating mask thing. I'd settle for a trip to the mountains just to see pine trees and smell fresh air. Even if we could afford the gas, logistics are a problem. My truck is a double cab, but it won't fit the three of us and two big dogs. I don't even worry about tomorrow anymore. It will only be a repeat of today. I am planning a trip to the Cox store on Monday to discuss cable vs streaming(which I know nothing about). They have streaming plans which will save me $100 a month, so they say. I don't like technology changes and just want to easily watch the things I do now, so we'll see how that goes.

[Kieron]

1 hour ago, KarenK said:

It bothers me that I have nothing to look forward to or get excited about.

yes, I've been noticing this since earlier this year.  It's like Groundhog Day, the movie starring Bill Murray.

[kayc]

19 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

This is the first day I can see and smell the smoke.  The weather last night said it would be trapped in Seattle big time today and they were right.  It looks odd if sun breaks thru.  We are sealed by clouds keeping it locked in.  I can’t get rid of the smell and taste.  Supposed to get rain, but not until next week.  Temps whacky too.  I could barely stand the heat yesterday and today I’m cold.  I’ve never had so many clothes lying around for this craziness.

I'm freezing and can't build a fire yet, I put in a call to the guy that cleans my chimney last night, I hope he gets back to me this week.  They predicted 83 yesterday and we got 62, which is what my house was this morning.

I have to leave to the valley today for a doctor's appt & get groceries and the air quality is nearly 500!  Here it's going to be up to 400 today, have both of my air filtration systems running on high.

I hope you have some filtration system, Gwen!

My son put $5,000 down on the home he wants to buy and we're praying it doesn't burn up in this!  Also praying his current house doesn't burn up before closing on it!  Crazy around here.  So many people displaced now, so much heartache and loss.

[MartyT]

[widow'15]

3 hours ago, kayc said:

My son put $5,000 down on the home he wants to buy and we're praying it doesn't burn up in this!  Also praying his current house doesn't burn up before closing on it!  Crazy around here.  So many people displaced now, so much heartache and loss.

kayc:  Oh my goodness, your son's situation sounds so awful.  I understand your concern for his fears.  Yes, it is more than crazy in 2020. 

Marg:   Where do we vote to cancel 2020 ?  Dee  

[Margm]

Well, I don't think we need to mail in our vote.  A man I know sent a letter to his son, just to check how long the mail took, and his son received it 30 days later.  His son is a child, they live in the same house.