MartyT Posted January 16, 2021 Report Share Posted January 16, 2021 Oh Ana ~ I'm so sorry to learn this sad news, and my heart is with you as you prepare for your final farewell ❤️ Sharing: 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 16, 2021 Report Share Posted January 16, 2021 18 hours ago, Marg M said: I'm sorry, I got to see behind the scenes of the deacons getting rid of members they didn't approve of and also my best friend's father was our pastor, and like Trump, he did not want to leave. It was necessary to remove him. I'm sorry. Churches, like any organization, are political in nature. I was always on the church board at the Nazarene Church but after attending Baptist, well, Elders (men) run things. For years I would not help in the kitchen because to me that signified that's all we're good for. George understood & agreed with my sentiment. Now it's ironic I can't wait to be done with the Treasury, and INTO the kitchen where I can mindlessly do some dishes, ha! I'm getting older and my brain is tired. 1 hour ago, scba said: In two days my beautiful dog will be put to sleep to start her journey to the Rainbow Bridge, as Kay sweetly calls it. My heart is broken in million pieces. I don't know how to say goodbye to my dog. Oh no! I am so sorry, Ana. It was the hardest thing in the world to me to lose Arlie, akin only to losing George, it honestly felt like losing George did, different in that it affects us differently but very much the same as my life had revolved around him for 10 1/2 years and living w/o George, Arlie was my close companion, my everything, all these years. I think you know what I mean. You will be in my heart felt prayers. I wish I could ease the pain... http://www.griefhealing.com/comfort-grieving-animal-lovers.htm 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted January 16, 2021 Report Share Posted January 16, 2021 Oh Ana, I am so sorry. To echo Kay, the loss of my best companion a few months ago was as hard as losing Steve. It’s such a hard thing to face when we started our journey with them. I wish I knew what to say that cold ease your pin, but I know there is nothing. Just know there is someone else out here that understands totally and wishes she could give you a hug or shoulder to cry on. I hope you have someone with you. ❤️ 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted January 16, 2021 Report Share Posted January 16, 2021 Ana, I'm so very sorry. Wishing for peace in your heart. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted January 17, 2021 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2021 Ana, I am so sorry. And, I don't know how to say it in words, because words do not help. My heart is with you, and there are a bunch on here that can give you the empathy you deserve. I just hate you have to go through loss again. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
widow'15 Posted January 17, 2021 Report Share Posted January 17, 2021 15 hours ago, scba said: My heart is broken in million pieces. I don't know how to say goodbye to my dog. Ana: As I read this my heart is breaking for you and my eyes are full of tears for you having to say goodbye to your sweet dog. I deeply feel your pain and wish there were words to lessen the pain you are going through. This is the hardest thing to do for us who love our animals so deeply. I can only repeat Gwen's concern, I hope you will have someone with you and you are not alone. A great big hug to you and your fur baby. Dee 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted January 18, 2021 Report Share Posted January 18, 2021 Thanks to everyone who reached me and for your prayers. My beloved dog is gone, released from her suffering, but us are left behind with our broken hearts. She was our family dog and she was a loving companion. I asked my boyfriend to welcome her and look after her until we reunite. Catholicism doesn't believe that dogs go to Heaven (regardless the news about the Pope apparently saying so). I want to believe that God and Jesus are beyond the theological discussion and my dog is in Heaven too. As all His creatures should be. We humans aren't so special to keep it all for ourselves, we even destroy our Planet. Thank you. Ana 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted January 18, 2021 Report Share Posted January 18, 2021 Pet Loss: Do Pets Go to Heaven? ❤️ 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 18, 2021 Report Share Posted January 18, 2021 Ana, I am so sorry. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 18, 2021 Report Share Posted January 18, 2021 3 hours ago, scba said: Catholicism doesn't believe that dogs go to Heaven (regardless the news about the Pope apparently saying so). Fortunately "religions" don't know everything, but I believe God knows and loves His creation at least as much as we do and can't imagine him not having them there...imo they make it first! And I hope your dog makes Arlie's acquaintance, he's very gentle. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted January 18, 2021 Report Share Posted January 18, 2021 They better get a better place! Unlike the human animal, others don’t do the horrid things we do. They don't threaten this planet. We are familiar with domesticated pets, but in the wild there is order. Everything is for a purpose and no waste. Nothing is for profit. They don’t start wars. Ana, I’m so sorry again. I’m still reeling from losing Ally a few months ago. I often wish we could live a life frozen in a time bubble that doesn’t propel forward so we could all keep our once full lives. But wishes are just that. I’ve come to dislike reality now that it has become pain instead of what it was. And time healing? I haven’t found that to be true at all. It only heals the slight bruises of life. Hasn’t done a thing on the broken stuff and I’ve spent years trying all I can. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted January 19, 2021 Report Share Posted January 19, 2021 I never expected to feel the pain I felt while "preparing" for her goodbye. And I never expected to actually feel her absence even if she lived at my parents. This is real. To me, time softens the edges of pain but solves nothing on itself. I've acknowledge that with time I will loose more and more. People, to start with. I don't see any poetry in time moving forward. I guess for parents is different. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 19, 2021 Report Share Posted January 19, 2021 It still kills me that I lost Arlie. I've lost 24 dogs & cats but none were as bad as this one! He was my constant companion! And such a good boy! To me, there is no "healing" from it, only trying to live with it. And that's rough. I wish there were some way to wave a magic wand so we wouldn't hurt but I don't know of any. Same with our guys. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted January 19, 2021 Report Share Posted January 19, 2021 2 hours ago, kayc said: It still kills me that I lost Arlie. I've lost 24 dogs & cats but none were as bad as this one! He was my constant companion! And such a good boy! To me, there is no "healing" from it, only trying to live with it. And that's rough. I wish there were some way to wave a magic wand so we wouldn't hurt but I don't know of any. Same with our guys. I fear for my brother because she was his companion. Truly. He is so sad. How can I help him? I know I can't fix it....but I wish there's something I could do. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted January 19, 2021 Report Share Posted January 19, 2021 Helping Another With Pet Loss ❤️ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted January 19, 2021 Report Share Posted January 19, 2021 I can’t think of much to add to the advice in Marty’s article. Since you were both affected so deeply by your loss, maybe talking everyday? Grieving together? I know when I lost Ally it was so hard because I had no one to really share it with daily, even acquaintances that had lost pets. They still had theirs despite losses of others. It was almost as hard as losing Steve, but that one no one could relate to at all. You possess an empathy you gained in your biggest loss too. Lots of dog parents here too. Maybe they will have better input. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted January 20, 2021 Report Share Posted January 20, 2021 3 hours ago, Gwenivere said: You possess an empathy you gained in your biggest loss too. Thank you Gwen. Because of that I'm now incapable to dismiss anyone's loss to death of any type. Even if I don't know the person directly. I still struggle to feel empathy towards breakups and divorces.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted January 20, 2021 Report Share Posted January 20, 2021 Like you, I have been forever changed when I hear about deaths of any kind now. My reaction to the news when I hear about it really hits me now. I wondered if I was cold before, but I wasn’t. I just had no idea the impact beyond the person that passed. Didn’t think about the survivors. Now I go there first as the person is gone. We know that part is done and can’t be undone. But we know now what it means to be in their orbit. I was never one that could watch that 2 minute commercial for the SPCA and the suffering dogs and cats, really can’t watch it now. In what can be a very cold world, grief inadvertently gave us the gift of true compassion. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted January 20, 2021 Report Share Posted January 20, 2021 1 hour ago, scba said: I still struggle to feel empathy towards breakups and divorces.... "The grief associated with divorce is different from the grief experienced when a spouse dies, but it is still a death – the death of a relationship – and it still engenders grief. Whenever there is a loss of something important in our lives, we suffer grief, and grieving is a normal part of the divorce / breaking-up process. Usually for a death there is a set ritual with a funeral or memorial service, and some understanding in our culture that mourning is important. But for the death of a love relationship, there is no prescribed ritual of mourning, and the grief that accompanies divorce is seldom acknowledged or accepted." Read more here: Is Grief A Normal Reaction to Divorce? ❤️ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 20, 2021 Report Share Posted January 20, 2021 My daughter is suffering greatly with her "loss to breakup/divorce" and has been for years the way he's drug it out and Covid doesn't allow for it to just be over as they aren't processing divorces in court. She's been with him for 20 1/2 years and was very much in love with him, thought it'd be for life and he suddenly changed. We still can't wrap our heads around it. It's shattered her ability to trust, to believe in relationships. One can't be compared to another. With some breakups the anger fuels their moving forward but not in her case, she has a mixture of feelings, none of which are good. It shattered her self-esteems but she has a good core underneath and KNOWS she did not deserve this. I pray he'll come to his senses if it takes the rest of his life, and REGRET what he did to her and REALIZE what he threw away! Not to get back together, because I'd never want him to mess with her heart/head again, but to effect needed change within himself. I'd hate to be him and live with it but he seems to not care/mind. I would NEVER belittle her loss and hope/pray no one ever does that to her, people are quick to be dismissive and say, "Well at least it's not...." which is NEVER appropriate! They sometimes do that in loss of a animal companion too and I hate that. Disenfranchised grief. But those of us here know all too well how our animals can become our all, esp. when we've already lost our human companion. The article Marty posted is good. Just be there for him. Some people are afraid to bring the deceased name's up, human or animal, but I always found comfort talking about them. Take your cues from them. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted January 21, 2021 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2021 A few family problems. Finding help. I to a Xanax in mid-day. I don't usually do that. I'm okay physically, mentally worried. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted January 21, 2021 Report Share Posted January 21, 2021 Hope you will be OK, Marg. Thinking of you. Check in when you can. I get it about thee Xanax. I’m clinging to mine too. 💖 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 21, 2021 Report Share Posted January 21, 2021 Marg, whatever the situation, know I am praying for you and I care. Sending you a big cyber hug, and I love the saying you posted, right on! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 Thursday turned out to be another day in hell. I don’t know why I keep being surprised. I was prepared for a tense call with my shrink. I was amazed he questioned my reasons for passing up pain suggestions and said I was really stuck on options. While waiting in that I thought I’d try and advance my covid vaccination. That was not successful but led to multiple calls to dead ends. I give up, I’ll wait till March as planned. Got a call from the back surgeon saying I need to come in for a physical exam. That is in 2 weeks, after changing the time and finding out they moved, if I can still walk. Felt sick all day and think it is the iron I’m taking. Melody was the only one who enjoyed dinner. I know it’s a bad day when potato chips don’t cheer me up. They are my go to comfort food. Even my fav M&M's didn’t work. When you lose those, you’re really having a bad day. Even Mel has a tough day. A guy in the roof trying to clear downspouts and trash day with loud trucks. A trial for her bladder. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 8 hours ago, Gwenivere said: Thursday turned out to be another day in hell. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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