If You're Going Through Hell

[KarenK]

Guess it's my turn for dishwasher problems. Loaded it, put in soap, and it wouldn't start. Dead in the water. Have an appt. Tuesday with our favorite place, Sears. Unloaded everything and washed it all by hand. Inconvenient to say the least.  lol

[Gwenivere]

3 hours ago, kayc said:

USB sent me a survey/questionnaire, I answered them horribly, requested a call back. Ha! 

I got a survey request too and told the rep from Sears they really didn’t want me to take it.  But I did.  I doubt it matters.  I’m kinda stuck now as I paid and escalated it to get my money back.  Have to give them one chance and that still doesn’t guarantee I’ll get my money back.  Then I’ll have to pay someone else.  I’m still angry they made me get a plumber out here that wasn’t needed to shift blame.  
 

I wish you better luck, Karen.  I can’t judge them nationwide, but I’ll never call them again here.

[Gwenivere]

Well, I may have done myself in for pain Tuesday when I go for my 2nd covid shot.  Slept on the wrong side, didn’t think it was so a bad start there.  I had a telemedicine appointment so more sitting, needed a couple things at the store snd had to park farther away as all the handicap spaces were taken, unload things and decided I best take a shower as I might feel ill for a couple days.  Of course while doing these things I found a couple other things that could have waited.  I swear, I’m my own worst enemy.  Stubborn.  But, if I get laid low, I’ll be clean, the garbage will be ready to go snd Mel’s goodies are replenished.  Now I just deal what damage I may have done when I get up in the morning.  
 

The specialist I saw is dropping a med dose down to give me a break from the anxiety the higher dose was causing.  I’d seen her before and like her treat the patient over the numbers approach.  She said I’ll probably need double what I am taking which I knew, but a respite will be nice.  Now I can just be anxious because of all the other things going on.  
 

Wow, I wish there were take backs.  I’m barely getting around tonight.  I’m trying for more sleep at night, 6 hours is not cutting it.  But laying down hurts.  I had a really strong urge to stand I my driveway and just scream.  Never felt that before.  If only crying or screaming could ease pain.  I mean really ease it, not just a frustration release.  

[kayc]

I would hate taking something that increased my anxiety!  I don't need any more!  None of us do.  I hope you get some respite.

I haven't noticed side effects from stopping my inhaler.  Would that be weird, to learn I've taken something for 16 years (and very expensive!) that I didn't need!  Now to get the COPD out of my records, I believe it's erroneous as I haven't seen any sign of it and no one discussed it with me and when I confronted my former doctor about it being in there, she said Asthma was under that category...my new doctor nixed that.  Not 100% positive of the Asthma either, I've never needed a rescue inhaler and no one ever tested my lung function!

[Gwenivere]

Wow, that is really odd you were on meds for something not tested and diagnosed for. Do you remember what was going on when you were started on the inhalers?  
 

Wish I could get around the thyroid meds, but I can’t.  I have no idea how I will ever adjust to them after over 2 years of trying.  The biggest mistake was agreeing to change what I had.  Tried going back and now my body doesn’t like the old ones.  They actually were more stimulating, but I was used to it and took more anxiety meds at the time.  This was when I had my awesome doc that knew how to balanced things.  Not the situation I’m in now with too many cooks in the kitchen.  He did everything p.   Now I have 3 with all kinds of ideas.  Talk about feeling like a lab rat.  🐀

[kayc]

Yes, I was getting winded coming up the driveway, but he said I had Asthma and put me on inhalers.  I've lost weight since then so maybe that's helped?  IDK.  I remember George was upset because we both had the same thing going on and the doctor told me I had Asthma but told George he needed to quit smoking.  He'd cut back 90% already!  He had heart trouble and didn't know it, nor did the doctor explore it.  We both know what happened after that.

[Gwenivere]

I thought I was going to be spared side effects beyond fatigue from the 2nd Physer vaccine.  Hit 36 hours later going to bed Wednesday and today I’ve been sick all day.  Me being stubborn, I pushed thru my list including a small shopping trip snd shower.  My temp is up a degree and I can tell.  Nauseous a lot.  Pain in joints and headache.  Then I hear on the news they are talking a 3rd booster in less than a year for this!  I am so frigging frustrated.  News was all about more infections despite vaccinations.  Washington is rolling back phases of being open and hospitals are packed again.  I don’t see how this will ever end.  Also people still getting the virus after shots.  Seems to be the South African variant.  Haven’t heard if Moderna people will need boosters.  I expected it to be with the regular flu vaccines from now on.  I hope that is the timing and pharmacies  can both at once. I really hope they don’t always do this reaction to those susceptible.  It would be hard to voluntarily do this again.  🤢

 

 

 

[kayc]

I'm sorry you are one of the ones that got sick from it, I have a friend who was sick for 2 1/2 days, my sister was sick for a day, my other sister had a strong reaction in her arm to the shot.  It seems it hits who it will and no predicting if it'll be that way with booster or not, they haven't found any correlation yet to those a certain age or with certain medical conditions...so much they don't know yet.  Hopefully they'll figure it out eventually.  I don't see this going away any time soon because there are so many strains, it stands to reason they must constantly be tweaking the vaccine.

If one gets the flu, pneumonia, and Covid vaccines together, how can you know which one is causing the reactions?  Even if you get them in different arms it won't let you know which is making you sick, I mean you can tell localization from the shot, but not other symptoms.  

OR cases are spiking again too, but they say from gatherings, who knows.  I haven't seen my sister Polly since all this began!

[nashreed]

I get my second shot Monday. It seems that women are more likely to have side effects. Sorry. 

[Gwenivere]

I heard that too.  Lucky us.

as this virus is going to be with us for a long time, I’m just hoping it can be combined with regular flu shots.  I’m tired of trekking in at different times.  Had to do that for the 2  pneumonia shots.  There’s also shingles ones too.  

[kayc]

The Shingrix shots are the worst ones I've suffered through, had to have two but should be good for life.  Better than battling shingles for life!

[Gwenivere]

I heard that from the wife of my monthly buddy.  She said it was the worst vaccine ever.  She only did it because she had shingles snd didn’t want too do that again either.  
 

man, what happened to the days we frolicked around and life was fun?  It’s becoming such a vague memory.  I get reminded when I see young people when I am out.  I’m not even talking about fancy stuff like skateboarding and such.  Just moving around freely.  No moans or groans.  Run in to the store for something quickly.  I’m trying to figure out how to trim my toenails without torture!  Used to be able to do that and lotions, sit on the floor, curl up anywhere.  
 

I just got the mail and started Steve’s car and I’m whooped.  Just got the latest AARP mag and am tossing it.  Too depressing the articles about pandemic physical remedies for weight loss, building back muscle, eating super healthy which involves lots of different food and cooking.  I would be open to that stuff, but they don’t factor in handicaps.  

Mel wants her ball thrown.  Guess I better hobble out there for a bit.  Gonna be almost 80 today.  Wish I could enjoy it as I once did.  But it is sunny which is pretty nice.  Can leave the doors open for a change.
 

 

[widow'15]

8 hours ago, kayc said:

The Shingrix shots are the worst ones I've suffered through,

Yes, I agree about the Shingrix shots.  The first shot was not so bad.  But, the second one really hurt and I felt really awful for about 3 days.  My daughter recently had her first one and it was really tough on her as well.  I hope she doesn't suffer with the second shot as well.

My son, who isn't 50 years old yet, came down with shingles shortly after his Dad  passed away.  Not only did he have to deal with grief, he had to suffer through the discomfort and pain.  Guess age has little to do with coming down with shingles.  Dee

 

[Gwenivere]

I didn’t know those were double doses too.  Ugh.  With all these things we are becoming pin cushions.  I don’t have a fear of needles, thank gawd, but I sure am sick of them.  I have to do B12 every month.  Can’t imagine being a type 1 diabetic snd gave to monitor that daily.  
 

Dee, did you get nice snd toasty in Tacoma today?   Think we tied the record here in Seattle.

[widow'15]

2 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Dee, did you get nice and toasty in Tacoma today?   Think we tied the record here in Seattle.

Yes Gwen, it was toasty in Tacoma today.  Feels so good but spent only a little time out in it.  The bright sun is a killer with my macular degeneration.   I did sit on my deck in the shade for awhile and enjoyed the birds.  Looks like we have a few more days of this kind of weather.  Maybe I'll take one of my wool blankets off my bed tonight.  LOL.  Hope this warm weather gives your back some relief.  My knees hurt less.  Enjoy.  Dee

[kayc]

17 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I’m trying to figure out how to trim my toenails without torture!

I laughed aloud when I read this!  I've been procrastinating doing mine, I need to do it soon!

12 hours ago, widow'15 said:

Guess age has little to do with coming down with shingles.

I knew someone in her 20s that got it.  Both of my shingrix shots were bad afterwards but I'd still rather get them than the shingles!  They did warn me they'd be brutal.  They were leery of giving them to me because of my fish allergies but did anyway, I have no idea what's in them but if the pharmacist doesn't know, how are we to know?!  Anyway I got it over with I think almost two years ago.  The worst part was knowing I'd have to go through it again in a month! LOL

8 hours ago, widow'15 said:

The bright sun is a killer with my macular degeneration.

I have a friend with it, she has to wear sunglasses to church. 

It was 84 in Eugene, 81 here, I've never seen that in April!  It beat the records.  We need rain!  It's supposed to be Spring, not Summer!  We'll be in trouble come Summer if not, severe drought, dry wells, fires burning whole towns again.  

8 hours ago, widow'15 said:

My knees hurt less.

Well that's a positive to enjoy!

[widow'15]

2 hours ago, kayc said:

We need rain!  It's supposed to be Spring, not Summer!  We'll be in trouble come Summer if not, severe drought, dry wells, fires burning whole towns again. 

kayc:  Yes, a gentle rain for a couple of days would be helpful over here.  Not wanting to sound self centered, but last week my  "Gramma House" was hydro seeded, a county permit requirement,  which means watering those little seeds to keep them viable.  My son has to come home after a long day of working and water in the dark.  It's either feast or famine in the Pacific NW weather department.

I, too, worry about the fires burning in wooded areas.   It's too early to have this kind of warm weather.

2 hours ago, kayc said:

I have a friend with it, she has to wear sunglasses to church.

Yes, the wrap around sunglasses are always with me.  If I work in my yard, I also wear one of those visors to tone down the sunshine glare.   Only problem, sun glasses makes it really difficult to see weeds.  So, I find I get more pleasure just sitting instead of weeding anymore.  My yard is losing it's appeal. 😎  Dee

[Gwenivere]

14 hours ago, widow'15 said:

Hope this warm weather gives your back some relief.  My knees hurt less. 

That’s great it helped your knees.  Didn’t do a thing for my legs or back.  Because of my thyroid, temps feel more extreme.   I don’t do bright sunlight well either.  
 

I’m just a mess actually.  Normally (what is that?) this would be a perfect day.  But when ya hobble, every move is painful, eating not desirable and really lonely, it’s just trying to survive not even knowing why.
 

sorry, waking up I don’t have my filter on to stop repeating being miserable.  Too many maladies to tackle on a day I look at my to do list and go.........I dunno if I can.  And they’re not tough to regular people.  That’s the real kicker.  

 

[kayc]

Couldn't get to sleep last night, usually go to bed 8-9 but last night it was probably midnight before I could fall asleep, that's WITH a sleeping pill AND Benedryl!  Woke up wee hours to the sound of my battery backup (to PC) beeping loudly.  The electricity was off.  Yay.  Reported it, got dressed, got Kodie up and walked him, got wood in, built a fire since I couldn't use my portable heater (I hated doing it as it means I have to clean it again and my house with it, just got it done!) and put my last cup of coffee on the wood stove to heat.  Picked up branches in the yard since Kodie wouldn't let me go back to sleep or read.  Then it came back on again!  So fixed tonight's dinner, did dishes.  Not how I planned my day!

[Gwenivere]

What’s that saying? We make plans and God/the world laughs at us.  What a way to start a day.  You are resourceful.  I would have been in tears.  I’m so sick of problems.  I want to be like you when I grow up.  🙂

[kayc]

15 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I want to be like you when I grow up

  Not sure I'd pick me!  At least the electricity is on this morning...but my PC decided to go bonkers first thing.  

[Kieron]

Wow, Kay, you just can't seem to win! 😦

[Gwenivere]

Ugh, technology.  I wasn’t really having any problems until I called Apple yesterday with people a simple question about mail on my old iPad.  It got out of hand snd before I knew it, I had stupidly let them into both my iPads and they messed things up.  Took almost 2 hours to fix and my afternoon was gone.  I did nothing I planned and so frustrated I wanted to strangle the first rep that created the mess.  Then I wanted to strangle me for being so slow on the uptake that I should have realized I didn’t need to let them in, just stick to the question.  I don’t know why I didn’t do that!  I honestly knew better.  
 

Hope you get your PC going, Kay.  Lord knows we so need them now to do so much.  
 

had a grief support zoom meeting last night.  I always find them helpful.  Only two other people showed up.  It’s also going to be changed to a 10 weekly closed group and when that’s done, that’s it.  No more unless the coordinator decides any more are needed.  They want a commitment, and I’ll do that, but now it feels pressured.  There are people waiting to join, so more input.  I just don’t know why, again, things have to change.  I finally find something I like and now it’s going to be more strict about addressing particular aspects of grief every week.  Not the free flow it was determined by when we could all talk after initial sharing individually.  
 

I'm so tired of always adapting now.  On the simplest levels. I liked having things I could depend on for consistency.  It doesn’t help I’m in so much pain and feeling sick all the time and the dread it gonna win and wind me up in the hospital or worse.

[kayc]

I got it back but who knows for how long before it happens again.  I love my PC and old as it is, I don't want to have to start over, ugh!  Still have my laptop, I backed everything up yesterday.

I'm sorry to hear about the changes to your zoom group, Gwen.  Ten weeks seems nothing, look how long we've been here!  It takes time to relate to others, get to know them, learn about grief, etc.  And a newbie would still be in grief fog!

I know what you're talking about, I wish we could have frozen the world in time before losing our mates...it seems the one thing we can count on now is change.  I can't even figure out how to sell on eBay since they changed everything and they no longer have phone access nor do they get back to you on the community questions.  I wonder if things will ever go back to pre-Covid.

[nashreed]

Ugh- I know. I hate how Ebay has changed things for sellers. I hate that they stopped using Paypal.