Cause of Death

[JJ660]

Has anyone gone through the uncertainty of cause of death?

We are currently awaiting toxicology and a final determination, but the coroner initially said suicide. The part that doesn't make sense is that the nozzle on the gas tank had been turned off by him, which was really odd.

I'm just having a hard time with this, as he was solidifying future plans that week, and we found nothing abnormal in his search history.  

My mind keeps churning between anger and sadness, since I don't know if this was suicide or accidental. I'm at the point of seeking grief counseling and even looking into a medium so I can get some type of answers or closure. This is just so hard.

[kayc]

JJ,

I certainly hope they clear this up, for the family's sake.  They could put "unknown" but why rule it a "suicide" when you have nothing definitive pointing to that?

[JJ660]

I was wondering the same thing. We are hoping the ME will hear our case and change it to accidental. I guess they just want to rush through each case.

[Widowedbysuicide]

Dear JJ660,

I'm so very sorry for your loss.  For you to not have a believable cause of death must be excruciatingly painful.  I understand the complications of dealing with more than one coroner and waiting for information and paperwork.

My husband died (of suicide) January 5th this year so I can understand some of your grief.  Even with my husband's cause being very obvious everything with the funeral home was delayed because his body had not been released in the time (7 days) I had expected.  I think these kinds of problems can make grief more difficult - once I was able to see a grief councellor I started to be able to accept that I needed to grieve.  Hospice in my area, Canada, have been wonderful.

Your daughter is a blessing.  She will bring you the joy that you need, and I'm happy that you will have that joy.

I hope you have had some news from the ME that has given you some peace.  You have my sincere condolences on the loss of your man.

 

Marita

[JJ660]

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad you were able to find a grief counselor to get you through this. 

They ended up ruling it a suicide. We are all still stunned, and for me, the reasonable doubt is that the gas had been turned off. I wonder if he realized his mistake.

I miss him terribly. He had so much to look forward to. 

[Widowedbysuicide]

I can certainly understand how terribly you miss him.  I was lucky to have been childhood friends with my husband so I have nearly 50 years of memories.  I feel very fortunate for that.  For those of us who had a truly good relationship with our partners it makes the loss that much more devastating.

In your heart you know the truth about his death and that is what matters most, not what others are saying.  Suicide is a hard thing to accept but so is an accidental death.  I'm sorry that you lost him and that you are having to cope with so much.  I am glad that you had him and his love in your life and that your daughter is a big part of that love.

I hope you will soon find the support and care you need and deserve.

Marita

[kayc]

I hope you can keep in mind that those who determine it to be a suicide did not know him like you do.  You knew him best and would be the one most likely to have known what he would/wouldn't do, so I hope you listen to your heart and know that he would not have chosen a step away from you, and if he was troubled, it wasn't something to do with you, you were undoubtedly what kept him going, what he lived for.