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Dad died 1 1/2 years ago. Mom is currently messaging scammer whom she fell in love with.


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Dad died 1 1/2 years ago.

Mom has been grieving through the purchasing of things, renovation of house. However now she is yearning for a companion. She signed up for dating sites and was looking for a man. 

She is currently chatting with a guy from Ireland who wants her to send money to a man at customs to have $2 million  delivered to her account. Clearly a scammer. She has already fallen for a different scammer earlier this year who called her out of the blue and she lost $6000. With this new guy the situation is much worse. She has identified him as a love interest (he continues to message her and call her Love and Honey) and wants her to send him money. She has already sent over a scanned image of her driver's license). He says he cannot talk over the phone and sticks to emails and messages.

Bottom line is I am scared she is going to have her identity taken, money stolen, and life ruined. I've tried to reason with her but she is very defensive as if I am trying to prevent her from enjoying life and finding love. She is very religious and believes that I have no faith in her and that I am going against her belief in God. I've personally rejected religion and thus she has a negative perception on how I view faith and believing in people. She has a giant heart and wants to help others badly and this scammer is using her, telling her that he believes in God and wants to better the world. 

I'm torn whether to let her find her way or if I need to intervene at the risk of damaging our relationship. 

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I'm so sorry this is happening to your mom. Since she is so unwilling to take seriously your concerns about this, is there anyone else in her circle of friends (a clergy person from her church, perhaps?) to whom she would be more willing to listen?  

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I don't know how old your mom is but could you have someone from senior services talk to her?  Or the police?  I would certainly not stand by and let her get taken.  There have been catfish that have taken everything a widow owned, plus the widow has been left facing charges of money laundering when they send them $ and have them wire it out of the country.  By this time their heart (and head) is so long gone and even all the red flags looming at them won't get through because they're in too deep.

If not, write Dr. Phil.  I'm serious.  He's gotten through to some that no one else could because he finds out the scoop on the other person that doesn't exist.  

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