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I'm afraid Miss Mocha is gone


kayc

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Hi Kay

As you know someday in the future you will remember  her with a heap of  gladness as you have the other companions you lost - but now is way too soon,   I hope you cry soon.  You are one of the advocates of tears I know.

Sending healing  thoughts & cyber hugs to you 

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I broke down yesterday and bawled, almost didn't go to the senior site where I volunteer on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I think I was in a state of disbelief beforehand, although I don't believe she's out there alive.  It still breaks my heart. :(

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Oh, Kay, you do so much to comfort others I wish there was something we could say or do to comfort you at this time. I am so sorry that your heart is broken. Accept this hug from ALL of us. 

 

Sending-you-a-big-hug.gif

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Kay, terribly sorry to hear about this. I missed this topic because I'm usually hanging out at the Spouse forum.

I know how much you love your animals and I wish you comfort and some sense of peace in the coming days.

Years ago, my sister was visiting someone and brought her dog along. She opened the car door and the dog sprinted into the nearby woods and was never seen again.

What's hard about a loss like this is the wondering what happened.

Again, I am so sorry you've lost your Miss Mocha.

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Kay, I really feel for you about Miss Mocha. I have had some hard cat losses-Freya whom I dreamed of a reunion with for decades, and Mitten, after whom there were no cats for 15 years because my allergies and asthma had gotten so bad. I love Lena so much I can't even imagine how dreadful it would be to lose her. Fortunately, she is young and healthy and black American shorthairs tend to be less prone to cancer and other problems than other breeds. But you said that Miss Mocha was young as well. Cats and dogs just don't come with guarantees. I wish they did!

Frequently when people see me with Lena, watch her do tricks and whatnot, they say, "It's just you and her, huh?" I think the depth of your love corresponds to the depth of your grief. Lena is an indoor cat, and supposedly only goes out on her leash and harness, but there have been a few slip-ups. Once she was gone until about two in the morning and I was sure terrified...

It's so sad about Miss Mocha; her picture is so sweet, and that adorable little heart on her nose! It's sad to think of you waking up in the wee hours and missing her. How old was she? 

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No, Miss Mocha isn't young, I don't know how old she was when I got her and I've had her 10 1/2 years.  I got her a few months after George died.

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Yeah, but you thought you still had a lot of years still with her, and that seems reasonable to hope for, but you didn't get to have more time with Miss Mocha. A housecat's life expectancy is 14-17 or something like that. But lots of cats live to be 20 or more and I've heard of a lot of cats that make it to 24. I figure if I lived to be 88 like my dad, Lena would have to be 33 yrs old to live as long as I do...The record for a cat's life is 38, and not many make it past 20 to 24. The math just doesn't work out very well for us and our little fur balls. Nevertheless, the time we have with them is so precious. I really have no idea how I would have survived my dad's passing and the months since without Lena. I feel so badly for you-I would share Lena if I could...

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I am feeling so helpless knowing that you’ve been helping me and the others so much to go through our difficult times but when you need it, I can’t do anything to help you…

It must be so hard to lose a pet whom you lived with for so long without knowing what happened… I think that’s the hardest way to lose someone you love.

Back in Sept 2013, our rescue group lost one foster dog during the transportation from one foster to another. From what I heard, they got stuck in a big traffic on a highway and the dogs riding in the van needed to have potty breaks. The back door popped open when the driver accidentally pressed the key button, and out the foster dog jumped... then people witness the escape frantically started to chase to catch her and it made her scared and run faster - she got off the highway and went missing. There were several confirmed sightings in the area for a while. Our rescue group searched her for over three months using several track dog teams, setting up trail cameras, going around animal shelters, veterinary clinics, pet stores, grooming salons, etc.., putting up posters all over the town and taping flyers on literally every houses possible in the area. When it started to get cold in November, there were some nights I couldn’t sleep thinking about the poor lost dog might be freezing… I prayed to my grandmother (who passed when I was 19) to protect her. She wasn’t my dog, in fact I’ve never even met her. The place she went missing was 3 hours away from our house but I drove there several times, with my husband or my daughter, to tape flyers onto the mailboxes, thousands and thousands of them, hoping someone could find her. Unfortunately she is still missing to this day. No one knows what happened to her. I still think about her some times. This is not even my dog… I cannot imagine how terrible it is for you to lose your cat you lived with for over 10 years and even slept with… I really wish I could do something... I am so very sorry… I am thinking about you and Miss Mocha and praying every day – that’s the least I can do…    

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Thank you.  My guess is the dog showed up at someone's door, a bit thin and hungry and they took him in.  I shooed Miss Mocha away for two months, I'd catch her in the rafters of my carport...until I finally realized she was living there and had nowhere to go.  I asked neighbors about her, they knew nothing, so I took her in.  So it was that she picked her home.  People often abandon their pets here, the edge of civilization up in the mountains.  I don't understand how anyone could be so heartless but they do it.  I rather imagine they tired of her peeing on the bathroom run, or clawing the furniture, or stealing their chair or wanting in and out and in and out.  I happen to be the sort that values my family (animals) over my furniture or convenience, so she picked well.  I tried to remember to keep the bathroom door shut and when I forgot...I got a rug to wash for my forgetfulness. :)  She was beautiful, really, pictures don't do her justice, and I am the worst photographer.  I wish I had a portrait of her, with her blue eyes.  She was so flirtatious with men!  She didn't care who, she'd flirt with them.  Maybe she learned it as a way of getting along with her previous master, maybe it was just natural for her, who knows.  But she was the prettiest, daintiest cat, so very feminine.  

I've read a bit about cats going off to die, I still don't know for sure.  I do believe she's dead though, I don't think she'd get lost, she knew her way around here.  I've looked and looked for her.  It's as if she's vanished without a trace.  I listed her on lost pets in this area, put her on FB , talked to neighbors.  I looked again today, thinking maybe I'd find a trace of something, but nothing.

I have to accept it, I have no choice.  I wish I could bury her properly.  I may buy a headstone anyway, something to commemorate her time here.  I've lost five animals in the last ten years, four cats and a dog.  It's hard.

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Been thinking about you, Kay, these past few days.    I'm sorry as can be.   You were so fortunate that Miss M chose YOU to live with. Wow - love that story. That is amazing isn't it how we come to adopt these precious kids.  !   Yes, definitely choose some way to commemorate Ms M.  She spent a good part of your life with you and it is important as you always tell us.  

And that is a huge number of losses plus your human ones.  Sending you soft thoughts.   Hope you are sleeping better.

 

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It's been nine days and 36 minutes.  I still look for her, still call her name, but I know I'm not seeing her again.  It's the hardest thing in the world to not even know for sure what happened, it's hard to have closure, although I'm not sure you ever really have that when you lose someone you love.  But it would help to know so I could deal with it.  As it is, I have to accept I won't see her any more and it breaks my heart.  I never got to say goodbye.  I had no idea that last time I saw her that it would be my last time.  It goes to show you never know if you'll see that loved one again, so hug them once more.  It's weird how a day can start out like any other and then go so completely awry.  

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Aww, Kay-I feel so badly for you about your kitty! And it's so hard to not know-and you may never know for sure. I think I told you that I lost my cat Freya three times. The first was for about 10 days, the second was for about 10 months, and the last one was final, but after the other two times somewhere inside I never gave up because I had dreams of finding her for 20 years! But she was not a social cat-she was almost feral when I got her. One of the things that thrilled me about Freya was that she loved and trusted me-and me only. She wasn't even too sure about my ex-husband. She would have never gone home with a stranger, and she was an excellent hunter.

On the other hand I once had a Siamese kitten named Pima with a distinctively bent tail who disappeared when we had had her for a few months. We noticed her months after she disappeared, wandering our back yard, pregnant and sporting a new collar. It was impossible to tell if someone really thought she was homeless, if she was one of those cats who have two families where they get food and attention, or if someone simply stole her. Maybe Freya told her to get lost...Freya was rather aggressive and territorial, and we acquired Pima while Freya was gone for the 10 days. I wanted to reclaim her, because she was our cat after all-having legitimately gotten her at the Humane Society. But my ex thought we should just let her stay with her new family, and we did. Perhaps Pima found a home where she could be a regal only pet, and not have to share with two other cats and a German Shepherd. It is excruciatingly impossible to know when animals go missing and you don't find any evidence...

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Hi KayC, I am just reading this!! I am so sorry for your loss. I am wishing with all my heart that Miss Mocha returns. I have read stories about animals getting lost & returning days later.

The thing with many cats is that they are not like dogs & often have a wild streak in them. In my family, we have had cats run away many many times. Some kittens have followed their mums to never return & some have miraculously turned up again. Just few months back, a cat had 4 kittens in our neighborhood & all got lost after growing up a little as they follow their mother around. But one by one we have been able to get back three of them & now they are not allowed to leave the house. We are still hoping that we get back the fourth one too. Actually, earlier we had a house with a garden & it was much easier & now we stay in the 3rd floor or an apartment building & 2 of our cats had accidents falling down & severely injuring their spines. What I am trying to say is that when we rescued the first kitten back, we could just hope that we get at least another & so on & we did. So I am sincerely hoping & praying that Miss Mocha comes back too.

Miss Mocha was lucky to have you & having spent so many glorious years with you & I am sure you feel the same. Sleeping alone can be very difficult now, so if possible have someone to sleep with you at nights.

 

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She wouldn't have just left, she never has, in all these years, she loved laying out on the porch swing or taking a nap in the top of the garage, but she was my "in and out" girl, she was never gone for more than a couple of hours and never further than the next property.  She always came when I called her.  If I hadn't been engrossed in yard work all day I would have noticed her absence sooner.  

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I joined a candle ceremony and lit one for Miss Mocha and you tonight, praying to a higher power to protect Miss Mocha and to give you the strength to keep your loving thoughts for her whether she is physically here or not.  

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Kay, you do so much for all of us in this Grief Forum that I decided to make this for you.

 

for Kay.jpg

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Thank you!  That is so sweet!  I woke up this morning, my glasses still off, and thought I saw her on the floor (her colors anyway) but it was my dog's stuffed animal...when blurry enough it looked like her!  Still missing her... :(

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That poem seemed just right since you said she stayed in your garage awhile before you took her in.

She came find her furever home.

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  • 1 month later...

Last night I dreamed Miss Mocha came back and it'd been a month.  In reality it's been 6 1/2 weeks, not a month.  But in the dream I was wondering if she'd found another home and if it was the last time I'd see her.  I don't think it was a message, and I really do not believe she'd go find another home, not after 10 1/2 years with me and having the perfect home where she's treated so well and allowed to be herself.  Rather I think the dream just shows she's still on my mind and that when you don't have a body to bury, it still feels like unfinished business.  I almost ordered her a headstone a while back, but it's hard to do when you don't have a body.  I don't think she crawled off to die either because she looked the picture of health, her breathing was good, she was very ambulatory, super limber, in great health.  I still think an animal got her, probably in the woods where it'd be very hard to find any sign of anything, esp. after this long.  I've looked but there's brush, etc. out there, it's impossible to thoroughly examine all of the property.

I still miss her.  I've been very surprised that both of my other animals haven't shown signs of missing her or being the least bit upset by her absence.  But then they didn't interact with her as much, she slept alot.  It's just weird, I never expected this.

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It is very sad, Kay, and I really feel for you. When I lost Mitten and thought I would never again have a cat, for a long time I would see something out of the corner of my eye and whirl around thinking it was Mitten, only to see a black sweater. And Freya-she was totally lost with no explanation and since she had disappeared before-once for 11 days and then for 11 months-and I got her back. So I had a really hard time believing she was gone. I had dreams about her for years, where we would be running towards each other in a field of flowers like a movie scene and she would leap into my arms. Finally I started talking myself when I woke up from these dreams, "You have to stop doing this-Freya would be more than 20 by now, and cats that are primarily outdoors don't live that long!" 

Some cats really do leave their paw prints on your heart. Freya really was pretty wild-I was her one-and-only and it was really an honor. And Lena is friendly to everyone, but it is clear that I am "it" and she trusts me, not only to be kind to her, but to make the world around her a safe place. It is really an honor to have the love and trust of a small animal that lives in our world without even the ability to open a can or a door. I know you had a strong bond with Miss Mocha and she was a unique cat. All cats are furry little miracles and a walking statement of grace and beauty, but some are much more so...

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