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I am new here, but here's why I'm here. My precious baby, Blaine, died August 20, 2005 at the age of 8 1/2 years from complications arising from double pneumonia and kidney failure. She was born with disabilities, and wasn't expected to survive leaving the hospital after birth. We grieved for her at the beginning of her life, not knowing that she would even be able to come home with us. She was truly a miracle and I know that she's whole and healthy now in Heaven. Some days I do good, and others I just don't want to keep going. I have 3 other children, an 18 year old son, a 17 year old son, and a 12 year old daughter who need me. I am blessed in the fact that I have an awesome family who stand with me and a church family who have been a great support. The only thing is... none of them know what I'm feeling. All of them have experienced losses of some type, but none know what it's like to lose a child...so that's what I'm looking for in this group. I know that the grief is the same for everyone who has lost a child, but I would love to talk to other parents who have lost a special needs child... if there are any of you out there... please reply or send me an email. Thanks.

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I'm so sorry for your the loss of your daughter, I can't imagine how you feel. My mom would have, she lost her baby after 10 days flying doctors in from all over the country to save him. Then she lost another baby, then had me and lost another baby. When I was nine my dad, her husband died, six months later my sister was murdered, then before we could lay her to rest (not ever four days later) her mom died. Before that her dad died, and a few years later my other grandpa died and they were so very close she ran all of his buisness for him and he loved her so much, he said she and my Dad were the only ones that did things just for him and would not accept any help from him. They had to do everything for themselves even though he built all of the other kids houses they would do it themselves. They were such giving people like him, Mom is now gone also, I wish I knew what she would say to you to help you. I hope you find someone here that can relate to you the way you need them to. There were eight of us and before she passed she laid four of them to rest. She missed all of them until the day she passed, she wanted to get to heaven so she could hold her babies again as at that time she was ready to go. Hope you find the strength you need for your other children, all of your family and yourself. Take care of yourself as best you can now.

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