Things that creep up on you...

[elb]

I thought I had figured out how to compartmentalize my feelings about my brother's in a way that made sense to me, that allowed me to grieve when I needed to and be higher functioning when I needed to buy lately I feel like there are landmines everywhere.  Even very happy events like my close friend who just had a baby with dimples- my brother had the cutest dimples, it was instant heartbreak for me to look at him.  I am reluctant for any more time to move forward because I am losing more and more of him as the years go by, I was hoping it would get easier not harder.

[kayc]

It has been a number of years since you lost your brother but time in no way diminishes how we feel about our loved ones, nor does time alone help us heal.  What types of things have you done to help you through your grief?  I've seen people hit with their grief many years later because they buried it, but it resurfaces and seems to demand our attention.  What you are talking about (with dimples, etc.) are triggers, they can come unbidden at any time because they remind us of the one we lost.  I know they're hard to get through.  

How is it you feel you are losing more and more of him?  Do you feel your memories are fading?  I know there's been times it felt like my husband being in my life was a dream, like it feels surreal, yet he was very much a part of my life, the most treasured part.  

Have you seen a grief counselor?  Journaled?  Created a memorial or something in his memory?  It needn't always be something visible, but can be something we do or donate to, a cause that would be dear to him.  All of these are ways we can deal with our grief and incorporate them into our lives.