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Moving forward for myself this time


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Hello all,

I posted on here a few times about my boyfriend, who lost his 22 year old son in a bad car crash in early December.  He began drifting from me, and I felt it best to give him room to process his son's death, along with other family issues that were consuming him.  That was back in early February.  We continued to text off and on, he made it clear he missed me, but no attempt to see me until around late April.  We made dinner plans and talked by phone, and he cancelled twice.  He told me he would leave it up to me if I wanted to reschedule.  That was the deciding factor for me, and I never did reschedule with him, it was time to take some pride in my self worth.  As hard as it was I let more and more time lapse without sending a text to check on him. 

The last time I "talked" to him was via facebook messenger in May.  So I decided it was time to let go, even though we are still "friends" on facebook. His sister sent me a message about six weeks ago and told me that he had basically had a nervous breakdown at the scene of the crash.   It was around then that I sought counseling for myself and had to hear what I already knew.  That Matt needed to find his own way and do his own healing, whatever that means for him.  It wasn't about me,  I had to stop searching for what I could have done to help.  He wanted his son back, and his life was a nightmare. 

So.....I started doing things for me as hard as it has been.  I have bad days, but I'm feeling better about myself and putting my focus on my own happiness.  I went down South a few weeks ago on a fabulous vacation with some girlfriends and worked on my photography.  He "liked" a photo I posted of myself, which I take as a good thing.  I know he cares for me, but somehow I feel stronger and better about myself not chasing after him, but rather to let him have his space.  I guess that is what they mean by unconditional love.  Doing what is best for the other person. 

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Thank you for sharing, what I think, is a a wise response to a very hard situation.  I wish you all the best happiness going forward.  I know how tough it's been!

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