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I miss Princess so much


Crossmateo

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I had to put my 10 year old pitbull Princess to rest 9/1/16. She was the perfect dog for me and I miss her so much. Every night I cry myself to sleep, and when I wake up I cry again. It is so hard for me to accept that she is gone. I want to share the story of her life and hope it helps me. I got her when she was only 3 weeks old. She was from a not so nice part of town, being a pitbull it was better if I took her so young. I bottle fed her and even got up in the middle of the night to feed her. She truly was my first baby. Once old enough she got her shots and everything a puppy needs. One time my husband was walking her and I was sitting in the car about to go to the store. She shook her head to get her collar off and jumped through the car window into my lap. She was just the best most lovable dog! On 8/25 i took her to the vet, she was losing weight and starting to have difficulty walking. During the exam he found swollen lymph nodes, a mass on breast and thought she may have pyometra. Bloodwork was consistent with pyometra along with her excessive thirst.  He put her on an antibiotic and scheduled surgery. 8/29 she went in to remove uterus and biopsy mass. However once she was open there was a large tumor behind the stomach that the vet said was inoperable. He gave me the option to allow her not to wake up. I said absolutely not I want her home. I brought her home that evening and showered her with love. The next day she seemed pretty good. She was eating and walking around. The day after that she would not eat. I made the tough decision to let her go after one bad day. I loved her too much to allow her to have many tough days before making a choice. I KNOW that I made the right choice but am constantly doubting myself. The vet even told me it was the right time. So 9/1/16 only 1 week from the initial vet appt I allowed my baby to go to heaven. While Im glad it all happened quick so she didn't suffer, I am having such a hard time coming to terms with it. I lost my best friend, companion and part of the family. My kids seem to be over it but I cant imagine how I will ever be okay with it. I know my husband is suffering too, just in his own way. I am so devastated, depressed and would give up almost anything to have her back. Any thoughts on how I can start to heal would be much appreciated. 

 

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My dear, I'm so sorry for your loss of your beloved Princess. Your story is testament to how loving this breed can be ~ I have three granddogs who are pit bulls ~ They are great family dogs, and they are so misrepresented in the media.

You've asked for thoughts on how you can start to heal, and I want to give you some ideas. I'm a firm believer in learning all you can about what is normal in the grief that accompanies pet loss, so you'll feel less "crazy" and alone in your responses. See, for example, Pet Loss: Is It A Different Kind of Grief?

I also think it helps to be with others whose losses are similar to your own. You've already found your way to our forum, where you'll meet many kindred spirits and fellow animal lovers ~ but you might also investigate whether there is an in-person pet loss support group in your own community. More ideas are here: Finding Support for Pet Loss 

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I am so sorry.  I smiled when I read about her shaking her collar off to jump in the car with you.  I would have made the same decision you made, I would want my baby home with me to spend some last time with him but wouldn't want him to suffer and would make the decision to let him go rather than watching him hurting.  It's different if there's something that can be done and their pain is temporary, but if there is nothing to change the situation, we have to think of them rather than ourselves.  I just wish there was some way to relieve your hurting.  I hope you can find some support that will help you.  

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Thank you, the vet said she had less than a month to live( at time of surgery).She had a bunch of fluid drained during surgery that was coming back only 2 days later. I just didnt want to have her start having worse problems over holiday weekend. I would never had forgave myself if she suffered when she didnt have to. I just pray that this starts to get easier. Thank you all for your replies, I am so glad to have found this site.

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She is so sweet, what an adorable face!

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