We included the following to be read at one my child's memorial services. I included (he) because it can be applied to either gender. I found it in the book noted below.
I reread this often - it helps me find peace.
"Remember Me" by David Harkins (1982) as it appears in Resilient Grieving by Lucy Hone
You can shed tears that she (he) is gone
or you can smile because she (he) has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she (he) will come
back
or you can open your eyes and see all that she (he) has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her (him)
or you can be full of the love that you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her (him) and that she (he) is gone
or you can cherish her (his) memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what she (he) would want: smile, open your
eyes, love and go on