I am so sorry that this happened.  There have been many others that have had the same thing happened, and I want to give you some links that Marty has posted at other times for those, I think they'll be helpful for you.   http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm One of my favorites for this situation:  http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf I lost a dog years ago that was a similar situation.  I'd come back from the