Jill B

I'm sorry you're having a tough morning.

Yesterday was the 4 month anniversary of my Mom's death, and I expected it to be a particularly hard day, but it wasn't...

Instead, the grief has a life of its known, with no sense of rationality. Yesterday was as hard as any other day, but sometimes, I almost start sobbing in a McDonald's, because my Mom used to talk me into going with her sit in a booth and have lunch. I miss her a lot, too.

Hope that something comes along to cheer you up today.

I hope it helps to know that, even though this forum is through the internet, that everyone on here extends sincere support, because we all know its tough, and just this little bit of support can go a long way.

Chin up.

-Jill.

Some mornings are just harder than others. This date doesn't mean anything to me. But her birthday is coming up next month,perhaps that is why...i don't know. I just need to see her, touch her and tell her I love her. It has been almost 8 months and it is not any better or easier.

Thanks for listening, i just feel so lonely this morning.

Yeah- I wait tables at a local tavern, and I was feeling especially chipper one night a couple of weeks ago...I decided that, hell, I'm gonna swing by Mom's house with some dinner for her...and then I realized I couldn't. Man...that'll really get you.

I felt like I could have written the last few posts here.

Last night I was watchiing t.v and just had this quick thought, "oh, I should call my mom before she goes to bed"...she has been gone almost 2 years. Even after 2 years, when I have those moments it still brings me to my knees.

I am going to a family wedding next week and am so full of anxiety about it. My entire family will be there and while it will be so fun and wonderful in so many ways, I know all of us will be thinking about my parents and how much they would have loved to be there. I have times where I am not sure I can go.

The day I get there is the 1 yr anniversary of my dad's death.

There are so many fun things going on with my kids right now, that my parents would have loved and would not have missed for the world.

My parents were very involved in politics and with everything that is happening in the country now, I can just imagine the conversations we would have had. My aunt told me when the tv political host Tim Russert died, my parents probably met him at the gate and said "let's talk!"

I wish I had some encouraging words for all of us, just know you are not alone and I understand your pain and sadness.

Will it ever get better? Easier? Why can't I dream about her?

I can't say if I know it will be easier...but my Mom died in May, and it MUST get easier.It must.