diane

Diane, I am so sorry. I could cry for you. The amount of loss that you have had to cope with is phenomenal. On top of the losses, you have had to deal with putting your grief on the back burner to look after your Mom, and also look after her alone. You might be hurting at your brother not visiting your Mom because it feels like he also left you alone to deal with her illness(es) and death too. I think that's how I would feel. As you say, we all react differently. I can strongly identify with mourning the loss of your dog ... it broke our hearts when we lost our wonderful dog. Someone explained to me that grief is cumulative so losing your dog, which is an awful loss in itself, is further compounded by losing both your parents, lack of support from rest of family, stress of care-giving.

A close friend of mine almost had a breakdown looking after her mother in law with Alzheimers. It is a dreadful cruel disease. It's very hard for families to not take it personally if mental health issues impact them ... even though it is the disease not the person in essence, certainly not their heart that intends to hurt you or your feelings.

My heart goes out to you

please keep posting - this place has been a life-saver to me, I really mean that.

HUGS

Boo,

Thank you for your response. I went to your blog and I just don't have the words for what you have gone through and are still going through. I have never reached out online and don 't know if I am doing this right . I know I read about Hammer but I am not sure where,if it was here or another pet loss site.

You are right about what I am feeling about my brother he did leave me to deal with all the emotional issues and I guess I do resent it. When my Dad passed my brother had a vacation planned so everything was put on fast forward and services for my Dad were put off.A week after Dads death my brother was at some Island and I was dealing with a mess. I feel like a terrible person for feeling like this and I want to let it go.

My dog Fred got me through so much and without him all this stuff is comming back. Fred died at home in our arms with me stroking his head and telling him it would be ok. My mom died in a nursing home with me stroking her brow saying it will be ok.

Diane

I lost my mom three months ago, she didn't know who I was. No one went to see her but my daughter and I, that really hurt but each his own. We were with her when she passed but she did not know us.

I lost my Dad three years ago, but had no time to grieve, because my mom needed so much care. My mom was so very mean because of Alzheimers and my Dad had covered so much for her that it was such a shock. My Mom also had mental health issues before the alzheimers and had been abusive to my brother and I. My brother did not go to see her, I don't know why that hurt me so much.

I felt so very much alone the family seemed relieved , to them she had left two years before she died. Last week I lost my beautiful dog and now I can't stop crying and I seem to be grieving them all at once . I am so confused I don't even know where to put this post.

Diane