tracy poulos

Hi I just want to make everyone aware of 3 local support group meetings in Phoenix , we are on meetup.com WIDOWED to WIDOWED , meetings are Tuesday and Thursdays for those in the beginning stages of their grief journey. Wednesdays meetings are casual discussions for those of us further on the journey , we have passed the 1 year anniversary of our loved ones death. We are a welcoming group of people men & women , we offer comfort and support and we "get it" . It is very healing to be with those that have traveled the path of grief having lost a spouse or significant other .

the meeting on Wednesday is at the Pyle Recreation Center in Tempe on Southern & Rural from 6 to 8 pm ask at the front desk which room we are in ..... come late , leave early ,

Hi I just want to make everyone aware of 3 local support group meetings in Phoenix , we are on meetup.com WIDOWED to WIDOWED , meetings are Tuesday and Thursdays for those in the beginning stages of their grief journey. Wednesdays meetings are casual discussions for those of us further on the journey , we have passed the 1 year anniversary of our loved ones death. We are a welcoming group of people men & women , we offer comfort and support and we "get it" . It is very healing to be with those that have traveled the path of grief having lost a spouse or significant other .

I wish you understood that grief changes people. I am not

the same person I was before my beloved died and I will never be

that person again. If you keep waiting for me to "get back to my

old self" you will stay frustrated. I am a new creature with new

thoughts, dreams, aspirations, values and beliefs. Please try to

get to know this different me -- I'm the one who'll be here from

now on.

Carol Ann, I am so glad you went to your new group and it helped....very proud of you .... I totally get the exhaustion and spent feelings.... I am grateful for this sight also....

God Bless Tracy

Hello to Everyone,

It's been 14 months since my beloved James passed away from Esophageal Cancer at the young age of 49 , I must say it's been quite the Journey, it has gotten better ...but I will never be the same and I have no idea what my future holds...

I have met 2 other recent widows to this same cancer and a widow group I belong to has a few new very young members... I barely remember the first 5 months ....as I listen to these new ladies struggle with grief not quite understanding it as I

didn't..... I begin very quickly remembering the book.... Finding your Way through grief A guide for the first year.... and how very helpful it was.....and still is.... as I spent my 11 month in isolation and did not leave my home ....and my friends

thought I needed to be medicated with anti depressants which I had been very familiar with and hate the side effects, I picked up the book and there it was on page 72 !!! I was approaching the 1 year anniversary and having a severe recurrence of

grief and I needed to get through it...not around it .... and I did.... it also has helped me to help others understand GRIEF.... on a side note....the book has been made available by the Fabricant Family and I remember reading the story about Gregory

Fabricant, he was a grief counselor at Hospice of The Valley and passed away at the young age of 33 from lung cancer in 2000. I attended a funeral last Thursday and stood next to Gregory's grave and memorial bench and told everyone his story...

he lost his father to cancer and had a difficult time recovering from his grief, thus he spent the rest of his life helping others cope with their grief, it would have been an honor to meet him...

Find Your Way through Grief by Marty Tousley

2 other books that have helped me

The Grief Club by Melody Beattie

Healing After Loss by Martha Hickman

all 3 available on AMAZON....

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL..... as difficult as it this thing called Grief....the sadness and all that comes with it....We ALL have something to be Grateful.....Thankful for .... wake up each day and be thankful for something and the same when you

retire at night....if nothing else be grateful for the gift of another day ...for each day is just that a GIFT... GOd Bless

Tracy

Hi, My husband past away from Esophageal Cancer September 25th 09, so I do know how you feel and what you are going through I had never been through watching someone die before, my thoughts and prayers are with you

at this most difficult time.

I highly recommend you get an MRI of the brain, my husband suffered

terrible headaches over a long period and in the end it was discovered it had spread to his brain as Chronic Menengitits, my story is long and heartbreaking as the memories replay in my head too often. God Bless you,

does your father have nausea as well as headaches ? My husband should have had an MRI long before it was ordered they did a PET SCAN of the brain and it was clear so you dad needs and MRI...

Oh to be well again, depression 3rd med I've been on Effexor makes me nausea and headache yuk o , only taken it 2 days do I continue or stop and deal with the depression minus meds as they all make me ill ! Anyone else have a suggestion or

similar experience, I've tried Wellbutrin, Lexapro and now Effexor really feeling like vomitting ..

thank you

My husband passed on September 25th, I had not been to the grave since his funeral and decided I needed to visit for Christmas, it was an emotional day as it started raining on the way home and I couldn't stop crying I got home a a huge

full rainbow appeared it was awesome and made me feel like my Jim was happy I came for a visit ...

I AM SO SORRY, I MUST SAY MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS DO UNDERSTAND AND ALLOW ME TO CRY, I'M THAT ONE THAT SAYS I'M TIRED OF CRYING AND EVERYONE SAYS IT'S OKAY AND WHAT I NEED TO BE DOING. ME TOO 3 MONTHS...SEPT 25TH

AND I AGREE, I WAS SO BUSY PLANNING, FUNERAL, GETTING FINANCES IN ORDER, AND EVERY OTHER MISC THING WE MUST DO THAT NOW REALITY IS SETTING IN HE'S NOT COMING BACK, AND IT ISN'T GETTING EASIER.. I AM ONLY 47 WITH

MY CHILDREN BEING MY 4 SHIH TZU'S , THANK GOD FOR MY COMPANIONS OR I THINK I WOULD BE SO MUCH WORSE...I HOPE YOU CAN GET AROUND PEOPLE THAT ALLOW YOU TO SHOW YOUR EMOTIONS AND SUPPORT YOU,

GOD BLESS

It is going to be 3 months on the 29th of this month. First of all, I cannot believe my husband has been dead for three months!

Secondly, do people - and I mean even loving and caring friends and family members - actually think that anyone is going to be "over" the loss of their spouse and "moving on" after THREE MONTHS?

Gosh! I am just now coming to the point of really realizing that he is gone and is not coming back. And yet I see friends and family members getting upset if I start to cry. So I think this is where the "let's just not talk about him" comes from. Because I see it happening. My own mother - certainly not the most sensitive woman on the face of the earth - when I said to her recently "I really miss him so much" said --- NOTHING. She could have said "Yes, I know how that feels. I still miss your father" or something like that. But NOTHING.

And when I was out visiting my sister and her daughter. If I would start to cry when talking about John, the subject would get changed immediately.

Now, I am not talking about I am sitting there sobbing uncontrollably. I am just talking some tears running down my cheeks. And all I really need is a couple of tissues and maybe a pat on the back.

Since almost everyone goes through it eventually, why does it seem to be so distressing to others to see someone manifesting their grief? Is it because they are already "over it" and think we should be too?

And again, these are not all insensitive people. These are often people who care a lot about me. I just don't understand it.

Hi John,

I am so sorry, I just lost my husband September 25th and the holidays have been very very hard, can't wait for them to be over, do what you need to do for you. I stayed home alone on Christmas eve as I couldn't quit crying all night long.

My family understood but felt bad they think I need to be around people and most days I don't want to leave my house. I have extreme anxiety and depression I am now on my 3rd new anti depressant and they all have different side effects

which I hate, insomnia, nausea, foggy head, (not sure which is worse the side effects or the depression). My heart goes out to you today as we all face the "first's" . Alot of people say the first year is the hardest. People keep telling me it will

get easier I feel it is getting harder as reality sets in.