MARI

I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH JACK'S MOM SINCE I JUST LOST MY SON ON MARCH 19,2010 AND I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS HAS HAS HAPPENED, HE WAS JUST AT MY DAUGHTERS HOUSE AND HAD GONE TO THE STORE AND SOME ONE DROVE BY SHOOTING AND MY SON LUIS WAS SHOT IN THE HEAD AND KILLED INSTANTLY. I FEEL LOST,NUMB,MAD,JUST A WHOLE LOT OF CRAZY FEELINGS AND I AM TRYING TO DEAL WITH IT,I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO A COUNSELOR AND HAVE 3MORE SESSIONS WITH HIM AS WELL AS MY OTHER TWO KIDS, MY SONS ALWAYS ON MY MIND AND I GO TO THE CEMETERY EVERYDAY SINCE WE PUT HIM TO REST AND MY FAMILY DON'T LIKE THAT I GO EVERYDAY BUT I NEED TO, AND I AM BACK AT WORK AND I DO HAVE BAD DAYS BUT I AM TAKING THIS ONE DAY AT A TIME,MY SISTER TOLD ME JUST THE OTHER DAY THAT I NEEDED TO LET GO AND I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING TO HER BUT WHY WOULD SHE SAY THAT HOW CAN SHE SAY LET GO ,HE WAS MY SON AND AT THAT MY BABY BOY,HE WAS THE YOUNGEST OF MY THREE BLESSING THAT THE LORD GAVE ME.

Dear Jack's Mom ~ I know from your earlier posts that you are struggling, and my heart goes out to you. You ask what will it take for you to accept what has happened, and I'm afraid there is nothing you can ever say or do that will make this horrible reality "acceptable." You will mourn the death of your son every day of your life for the remainder of your life, and it will never, ever be "acceptable" to you that he has been ripped away from you this way. As every one of us on this compassionate site will tell you, over time (and a very long time at that) you will learn to live with it, and the intensity of the pain you are feeling now will diminish over time, we promise ~ provided that you continue to seek the support of others, as you have done by coming here to share your story with us.

I've just finished reading a book entitled A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through Loss. The author lost his wife, mother and a daughter in a single automobile accident, and he writes about his struggle to come to terms with this catastrophic loss. I got the book based on Boo's recommendation, and it is indeed extraordinary. If you decide to read it, you may find that it speaks to you in a wise and meaningful way, too.

See also this article on the Open to Hope Web site: I Just Lost My Son: Mother Reaches Out for Help

Please know that we are sending you warm hugs of comfort, peace and healing . . .