jathh

Hi Rosella, glad you liked what my tears wrote, that it speaks for you too, though our stories are so different yet the love that we feel the same. To have a partner for 62 years says alot about you, and him, and your committment to each other, and to lose him i can't imagine how painful for you, but you haven't really lost him, I am sure that he is with you always, loving and watching over you, you and he inseparable after the lifetime together. I wish I could have had more time with the man I loved, and done better with the little time we did, two and half years. We split up twice, he admitted was his fault, he was scared of committment, twice left him to the 'other women', third time we were solid, would have spent the rest of my life with him, but unknown to us, his time left was not long before he would go. He couldn't believe that I'd come back to him after how he'd treated me, and neither could I, but I'm glad I did. He cried many times about it, and the whole of the last night he was alive, and all I could do was kiss and wipe his tears away and feel the unspeakable pain. He would point his finger at me when I asked why he was crying, he didn't want to go, we had found the love and trust that had eluded us, in the end. But we had wasted alot of time before that, and it took him becoming ill to understand, to see, and to break down the wall that he'd built around his heart and let me in. Then had to go, and part of me went with him, 5 months ago.

You Rosella, have a gift, in these times, to have negotiated the obstacles and difficulties of committment and loyalty and relationship, and spent 62 years with one man. Wow, you have things to teach me girl! Hugs

Thankyou for teaching me to love

I never knew

Noone belongs to anyone

We all belong to God

Thankyou for teaching me forgiveness

for doing the things you did

For giving me the chance

To share your last months

and moments

with you...

for reaching to me

to share the end

We never talked about it

we didn't have to

we knew

your time had come

Thankyou for being so brave

so beautiful

though you saw yourself

in the mirror

and said 'I'm f**cked'

you were never

more beautiful

to me

Thankyou for being

a man

I loved

and who loved me

Shell,

yes, thankyou. He still is my hero, but I know he wasn't flawless. Its helped me understand what true love is. Acceptance, we all need this. I wish my family could talk about these things but they can't. I accept this...

thankyou,

jathh

Shell,

do you know what, the week my Dad was dying, his second wife (who I didn't even know was his wife because that was a 'secret' they kept between themselves) was telling me all about his misdemeanours that she had experienced! That's aside from the stuff from my mum since (his first wife). Oh boy! Life is truly one big learning experience. But I still love him, and think he was wonderful, despite his flaws. So all is ok...

hugs,

Jathh

Yeah, don't feel guilty for whatever you're doing, for crying, playing videogames, discussion boards, venting on discussion boards, as someone said to me, that's what we're here for...don't beat yourself up, from one who knows!

Sunstreet,

you know what, life is such a wonderful learning experience. We were lucky to have had such wonderful fathers. But you know what too, as a father, our

Dads might have been wonderful, as a father...but as anything else, I'm no longer going to idealise my Dad. As a husband, he was not so good, and now I know I was born into a scenario of sickness and denial! 'Stories' have come out since he died. My Dad had a 'weakness' for women. He said to my mother that marrigage was built on trust. She trusted him, she was wrong to do that.

But you know what too, I forgive them. They did their best in this world.

They may not have been open and honest with each other, but I hope to break that cycle, one day, in this world.

Peace, blessings, to you.

jathh.

ok, thankyou...

Yeah, thanks shell. And watch out all you others who have love in your hearts because you have been shown love. Always trust your intuition, it is your best friend, more than any man, in this man's world.

Bless you.

jathh.

Hi Sean,

sorry, yes, a nightmare. Like losing my Dad. But I know you're all going through it too. That was a particular bad venting.

Thankyou all of you, yeah, I guess i was venting.

thanks...no, I didn't have a family who talked about anything spiritual, and of little support at this time. So, your words are important to me, even though I don't know you. School isn't the place for this stuff, I'll accept that.

thanks.

Wacked,

thankyou, because believe me, I am trying to regain any faith in human nature that I ever had. I believe you are really trying with your girl, it will work out for you both don't worry.

You say 'we see instability because we don't know what to expect' but I say to you that the guy I 'chose' to deal with I suspect knew full well what to expect, and has simply taken advantage, and is somehow taking pleasure in putting me down as much as possible. I will no longer communicate with him. I have to confess that I feel sorry for him in a way, his own father was not very loving, and although he is dying, and asking to see his son, he will not go and visit him, despite my attempts to try to get him to do that. I feel sad that he has no love in his heart because he was never shown love in this world. You obviously have been, think yourself lucky! The 'relationship' with this guy, and any guy like him, is now over for me, all that is left is trying to get my money back! And I know that somewhere my Dad is saying yes, go girl!

This particular guy seems to hate women, and there seem to be many men like that out there. He doesn't seem to care for his mother, or anyone at all, just himself. Its very sad, not what I needed, but at least I have learnt something and hope I will be stronger and wiser for it.

I lost my Dad to cancer a year ago. They say misery loves compamy, is this all we have? I tried to post a new topic but it just didn't show. Does anyone else out there agree that we need to live? Losing my dad was my worst childhood nightmare, apart from the other one of helicopters landing in the garden, with soldiers with guns coming out of them. Is this it? Is this what they don't want to talk about in school - death, and losing a parent, and soldiers with guns coming after you, for just being you?

Why is it that school doesn't deal with death? Why? It's like its a no-no, subject not discussed. Anyone any ideas, why is this? Taboo, unthinkable, never going to happen. Yet all of us here know it does. And we all face what that means to us. What the s*** does school teach us if it doesn't teach us to handle this?

thankyou for such a wonderful tribute to a wonderful man.

Yes, my father too was such a man, a real man, how glad I am to know there are others...

Hiya

at least you are trying to understand, I lost my Dad a year ago, left my job, trying to work it out, met a guy, who now calls me 'unstable' - but not unstable enough to lend money from!! Just shown me, when it hits, it hits. All the best to you for being so understanding, it will work out.

I hope this will help. Losing your Dad is like losing your best friend. In a man's world, which this is, losing your Dad is like losing the only man that ever loved you. The only man who knew you, the only man who ever cared about you. Losing your Dad is the worst nightmare you ever had.