missing him

Mary - what a nice picture of you all. Thank you for sharing. I will keep you both in my prayers. How wonderful it is to know you both remained friends for all these years. Thinking of you. Missing Him

Mary - you nailed it! Exactly how I feel. I haven't been posting here because I just haven't been doing good. I think it is because of the 1st holidays alone and feeling exactly what you just wrote. Brought me to tears. Wishing you peace. Missing Him

This is great news Mary! It brought a smile to my face. I know this took a lot of dedication and patience from both of you. He deserves that hamburger and hope you endulged in a treat too.

I'm so sorry Arlene. I think that is great that you see him. I wish I did. I had a few dreams after he passed but I do feel him around me. Sometimes it is stronger than other times. This is so hard. It doesn't seem to be getting easier for me either. The 4th will be 6 months for me and it still feels like it just happened. I don't know how to go on without him. I have no interests/hobbies. He was my life. If it wasn't for our dogs, I don't know where I would be. I cry all the time still. I am broken. Thinking of you. Missing Him

Arlene - I am so sorry that you are hurting so much. I am going on 6 months on the 4th so I can relate. I cry so much through out the day. Sometimes I feel like I'm going backwards. He would not want you to hurt so much and it is making your health issues worse. I would suggest trying to change your medications. Maybe they aren't the right ones. Try to do little things for yourself - pamper yourself. If you are not able to do it for YOU, do it for him.

I know all the advice sometimes goes in one ear and out the other, but one of these days, we will get there. There is no right or wrong way in our grief process. It is the hardest thing in the world to go through Missing Him

Mary & Kay - thanks for the understanding and support. I managed to make it through, although I don't know how I did. It was outside and a dark out and I looked up to the sky and stars thinking of my love. (I know he was with me) My dad was standing next to me and didn't even reach over to comfort me. My mom told me to ask for strength. After the ceremony my sister gave me a hug. That was comforting and a surprise as she is not a "sensative" individual. I stayed a hour or so and had to go. My sister that got married thanked me for coming, said she loved me and did not even mention that she knows how difficult this may have been for me. Again, those expectations I need to stop... When I got home my mom emailed me and said how proud she was of me to go through it.

It just doesn't feel good seeing others with their spouses when I should have mine with me too. Missing Him

Mary - My parents will be there and my other sister with her husband. They have told me to try and think of my sister's happiness (easier said than done). I wish I could take you or Kay I just want it to be over with. Thank you for understanding. Missing Him

Thank you for the songs and quotes. I needed it today. Thinking of you. Missing Him

Kay - It is sad that nobody acknowledged this day. It is hurtful in my eyes when people do this. I love the comment about the look on George's face. That brought a smile to my face. We all were blessed to be loved so much. Thinking of you.

Tonight I have my sister's wedding to go to. This will be a tough one to attend as I will be thinking of our wedding, hearing the love songs, etc. I will be a crying mess I'm afraid.

Reading this brought me to tears. I give you credit doing all you did. (I'm not there yet). Those words, "Til death do you part" - powerful. I have my sister's wedding to go to this weekend. Thank goodness I'm not in the wedding party. This will be so hard for me. Playing all the love songs, etc. I'm going to be a cryng mess

We won't ever feel the same will we...just get through things.

Kim - I'm so sorry you are struggling. i too have been there angry at God but now I understand that God didn't do this. Some things are out of his control. I agree it sucks, hurts, it isn't fair when we found the love of our lives and NOBODY will ever compare to them. I do believe that our "work" here isn't done. I'm reading a book (it is a little old but a good one)called "Why Bad Things Happen To Good People". I will never understand the "whys". I cry everyday still. I am thinking of you...

Anthony,

I remember your daughter being the one to make you go out and do things. She sounds like a wonderful person. Missing Him

Anne,

no insensitivity taken. You helped me to look at this in a different way (although it is still dificult). Great poem. Thank you for sharring. Missing Him

Cindy - so sorry about your recent loss. I remember the first few weeks and how numb and out of touch with the rest of the world I was and to be honest, most of the time I feel I still am. It sounds like you helped your son out by going to the casino as difficult as it was to actually go. However you decide to spend the holidays is ok. Sorry about you mother's diagnosis. Rough times. You take care as well. Missing Him

Arlene - no need to apologize. We all come here for a reason and we all will always be here to listen and understand. We did a lot of things on our own too. That is what makes it difficult too. We of course would go to each of our family's house for Xmas and Thanksgiving. Sometimes we weren't able to because of his health. Whatever you decide to do for the holidays, I hope it brings you peace.

Even though you don't celebrate, I want to wish you a belated happy birtday. This will be a tough one for me next year. My 40th. Both of our birthdays AND wedding anniversary are in February Give me strength... Missing Him

Marty - thank you for sharing that post. Help me to put things in perspective. I truly don't know how to get through this. The tears still come so many times through out each day.

Kim - Her comment just made me realize what I had that much more. I know nobody will take his place. That is why it hurts so much because the love we shared. I know I need choose to celebrate him and not choose to mourn so much. I'm just not there yet. I don't think there will ever be a day that I don't cry. I will be thinking of you as well.

Thank you Marty. Much appreciated. Missing Him

Kay - always like reading what you have to say. It helps me very much. I think I most likely will opt for making a short visit. I think I am pushing myself away more from people. My sisters and in different places in their lives. One is happily married and the other is getting married and going to this wedding will be so difficult for me to attend as I wasn't supposed to be attending alone and will bring back memories of my wedding. Missing Him

Hi Cheryl - you are so right about not pretending that everythin is okay. Some people think that is the thing to do. I probably will make an appearance on the Holidays and spend the rest of those days alone with my memories, pictures, poems and of course our dogs. Missing Hime

Thank you Kim. I too believe his spirit is with me. I'm sure I will get through it, but not easily. I went to get my car washed and the girl that works there always asks how I am doing and can't believe I'm still strugglin. She told me today to think of all he men that are out there. Are you kidding me!? My jaw just dropped- couldn't believe those words came out of her mouth. Some people just don't know what true love is. Missing Him

I am already dreading Thanksgiving/Xmas. Is it so wrong that I don't want to do the family get togethers? I know it will be so difficult for me to see others with their significant others and there I will be all alone. I was told (by therapist)to make plans for the Holidays,but quite honestly, I just want to stay home alone and cry my eyes out. That is all I seem to do anyways. I don't know who I am. I don't have interests/hobbies. I've always been a home body. I have never been financially able to travel, get involved in hobbies that require money, etc.

Missing Him

Mary - I saw you Pinterest. You did so much work. I haven't gone through it all but I did go to the "In Memory of Bill" and it was amazing. Brought me to tears. You had a great love as well.

Missing Him

I wanted you to know I am thinking of you today. Another difficult day. I know you will find a way to get through it. Tears and all. Missing Him

You are probably right. It's difficult for me to do things for me. I'm not used to living that way being the only one to rely on during my husband's illness.

This is just my opinion but I think your dogs would be just fine anf that attending a support group is really important for you. I hope you seriously consider getting something for you. In the end, your dogs will also benefit. Mary