cathyott

I LOST MY COMPANION YESTERDAY ALL OF A SUDDEN. HE WAS A CAT.

HE HAD SO MUCH PERSONALITY AND I FEEL LIKE I NEVER HAVE ANOTHER

ONE LIKE HIM. HE WAS FINE FOUR DAYS AGO. HE EVEN SLEPT ON TOP

OF MY FEET. THE NEXT DAY HE ACTED LIKE A HUMAN WOULD ACT IF THEY

CAUGHT A VIRUS. HE COULDN'T EAT AND HE JUST SAT IN ONE PLACE.

HE WENT TO HIS WATER DISH AND RESTED HIS CHIN ON THE BOWL, BUT

HE DIDN'T DRINK ANY WATER. THEY VET RAN TESTS AND RULED OUT THE

VIRUS. THEY CALLED ME INTO THE ROOM AND EXPLAINED HIS CONDITION. HE HAD DIABETES AND HIS LIVER WAS DAMAGED TO WHERE IT COULD NO LONGER PERFORM THE FUNCTION THAT IT'S SUPPOSE TO.

I JUST FELL APART AND CRIED SO BAD I COULD BARELY TALK. I TOLD THE DOCTOR THAT I WAS A SENSITIVE PERSON. SHE SAID SHE UNDERSTOOD AND TOLD ME THAT I HURT BECAUSE I CARED SO MUCH FOR HIM. I HAD TO MAKE THE DECISION TO PUT HIM TO SLEEP, BECAUSE NOTHING ELSE COULD BE DONE. WELL I'M A GROWN MAN AND WISH I HADN'T OF FELL APART LIKE I DID IN FRONT OF THE DOCTOR. BUT SHE WAS REALLY UNDERSTANDING. THIS PROBABLY DOESN'T SEEN RIGHT, BUT I FEEL LIKE

HIS SPIRIT IS STILL HERE. EVERYWHERE I LOOK I SEE HIM. I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT HE WAS NINE YEARS OLD AND I HAD HIM SINCE HE WAS A SIX WEEK OLD KITTEN. I'M CRYING AS I WRITE THIS LETTER. I NOW REALIZE THAT PARTICIPATING IN THESE FORUMS WILL REALLY BE BENEFICIAL. I HAVE TO BURY HIM TOMORROW. I'M BURYING HIM AT THE END OF MY LOT AND THERE IS A GOLD RIBBON TIED AROUND THE TWO TREES THAT WILL BE AROUND THE GRAVE. WELL, IT FELT GOOD TO GET THAT OFF MY CHEST. THIS REALLY HURTS.

Your feelings are so very normal! In about one hour I will have to have my baby put to sleep, I have been grieving since Saturday when I made the call to the vet. My dog is 13 now and can not get around that good but still has a strong heart, but I am afraid that heart only beats to please us. He can no longer run and even going out to do his job is difficult. I tell myself it is best but my heart is heavy and the thought of losing him I just cant bear it. We made Ernie a grave in our garden next to our purple martin house and I have a memorial stone for him and I will plant flowers in the spring. It does hurt so much that I too am crying...our friends will be waiting for us at the Rainbow Bridge.

I am a new member to this website, I found it today when I was trying to find answers as to where my beloved Ernie will be in the end. I found Ernie 13 1/2 years ago in a pet store. I had intended to fill a void from a previous pet that I had to give away. I had a Yorkie in mind and I went to the Yorkies cage and there was the cutest little pug dog. I never even got to take the Yorkie out. Once I held little Ernie, I could not put him back. Sooo $500 and all the accessories later....I came home with Ernie. I had intended to cage train him, but the very first nite he looked so scared and with the question on his face...I thought I was getting out of that cage! That was it for us he then found his place on our pillows and for the next 13 1/2 years is where our little Ernie has slept.

We have so many fond memories happy and sad with Ernie. The look on his face when the baby came home was priceless. He wore a santa suit, a halloween costume, rabbit ears and so on. This was my first baby I guess. I had a first birthday party for him with a few friends in tow. We made burgers on grill, doggie lollipops and of course ice cream....in which Ernie never lets us forget him when we indulge.

Tomorrow will be a very difficult day for us. Our little Ernie has been dealing with spinal damage and arthritis for the past 3 years and we did what we could to make him comfortable as possible. I now realize that his quality of life is not good. He cant follow me to the barn anymore, he cant play without gagging, going out to releive himself is a chore and we can not travel with him anymore for fear he will have accidents. After agonizing the decision to put him to sleep for the last year I finally made the phone call to our vet yesterday and made the appointment to euthanise Ernie. I have been crying since yesterday and I am crying for him and us. We are going to bury with him here in our garden and put the memorial stone on top of his grave and I will plant special flowers in the spring. I am feeling tremondoulsy lost at this moment and feel I am taking a life without consent. But as I watch him walk ever so slow and just sleep all day, I know this is the end. My husband will be with me when we take Ernie in tomorrow, I know he is hurting also but doesnt show his emotions like me. He hurts when he sees me hurting. What will our life be with out Ernie? I will be sad and the thought of another pet scares me. My son has his horse and I know she will find ways to comfort us, for I believe our animals feel for us in ways we dont understand. If anyone can help shed a light of hope to us please do! Thank you from a family who will miss our beloved Ernie greatly.