Unknown1012

Okay thanks but I always find excuses to avoid my true feelings. Which leads to me changing. I also led myself to get detention tomorrow after school. I am learning my lesson though...I am starting to talk to people...but only a guidance counselor. I also talk to one my friends, M**a  (Sorry for the astricks, I dont want to say he name on a public site without her consent) but she is the one friend I talk to about all of my feelings. I am feeling much better...thank you for that.

Thanks a lot. I know it is not fair to them but they are the closest target to them. I also think it is not fair...but I know I have to deal with it...and I do talk to a therapist..I have been a little more open however, I cannot stop from becoming what I will become. I keep thinking to myself "Am I turning into my mother?" But I realize I do the same things she did....as a kid. I guess I am too late...I will turn into my mother...I am still trying to avoid turning into her bad self. But will I? I do not know. I am also sorry for your loss. Feel Better!

I am upset because my mother died on August 25, 2014 (last year) right before my birthday. (My birthday is August 24) I haven't been talking about it with anyone except this one friend who is a girl. However, I have had a lot of symptoms due to this loss. For example, my grades have gone down, I do not talk to any of my friends/teachers/family with the exception of a few. I also do not participate in class and I am mentally shutting down because I shut everyone else out. However, my parents are probably the most concerned. However, they also lied to me about my mother. Okay, well here is the whole story. I was 6 or 7 years old and she just vanished. I was so young at the time I did not care very much however I was a little upset at first. Then I turned 10 and I begged myself to see her again and this time, I was a bit more curious, so I asked my dad questions. I asked him "where was she?" and "When will she be home again?" My dad told me she was at a hospital. Then, a last month in October, they told me the truth. She was never in a hospital...she was in jail. She was a drug addict and she needed money to recover so she robbed a bank. When I found out this information. I got mad and depressed. All I do is yell at my dad's girlfriend who I yell at because I think she is trying to replace my mother even though she claims she is not. However, I am still in disbelief. It is really hard to get over this and I am forced to go to therapy but they make me. No matter how much I do not want to. I don't know what to do and I am always so down and upset. That is why I am here. Hopefully, one day I can get over my mother...I am upset and mad at her. But since she is not here, I feel like I redirect my anger at my dads girlfriend which seems silly but she is also the closest and easiest target. Now all I do is disappoint everyone with my grades and silence. One day...Please help me if there is any quick and efficient way to get over this stage of grief. Thanks everyone!