IsThereHope

I hope you have better days, mom's angel. 

ALL opinions need to be respected.  And my opinion is that yes, it's a big sacrifice to care for an ill elderly person at home.  Some take on that responsibility (whether alone or with caretakers/nurses/volunteers assisting at the home).  Some do not, for whatever reasons they may give.

You're probably right, Janka.  I think the problem is they are overworked, and some are not updating their "continuing education".  Thus, mistakes are made, although I don't know what happened in your loved one's case.    

I agree with you, sg.  Sick people are much better off at home with family, not at nursing homes or in-patient hospices.  It's all about the money.  I've had similar experiences with incompetent staff and some doctors who wrote high dose prescriptions that were not necessary.   I think you should commend yourself for taking care of your loved one at home...not many people have the patience and determination to do so.   And, yes, people with dementia do remember visits from family (albeit subconsciously at times).  At the very least, the feeling of emotional comfort is there for one to two hours after family visits, even if they don't "remember".   It's similar to when a person with dementia listens to music they formerly enjoyed.  Even if they do not remember the name of the song or the artist, that comfort feeling stays with them.  Family should try to be there for their loved one 24/7, not just "visit".

Meditating and prayer might help the anxiety....although it won't take the emotional pain away.