Oz

Sadsis

It is helpful to have a place to come with our thoughts. Knowing that we are not alone in our grief gives a little bit of comfort.

Thank you for your kind thoughts. We have so many more pictures of him, skydiving, kayaking, riding his bike out west. He was so full of joy in living. The grief I feel right now is overwhelming. Many have said that the grief softens. So sorry for your loss also.

Sadsis - yes, my brother squeezed every last drop of living out of life. I know what you mean by being weighed down by life. John wasn't married so he came and went as he pleased, but we are so grateful that he got to live the life of high adventure that he did. Trying to learn a lesson from him about enjoying our time on this planet.

And I am so glad that your brother experienced joy in living, also. We both have mountains to climb in memory of our brothers!

He was always smiling and happy. He always said, "life is good" and when you asked how he was he would say "Excellent!". 

Sadsis

So sorry for the loss of your brother also. It is all so sad and heartbreaking. If your brother was an adventurer like mine you know how much they loved life and how much they packed into their time here. But we wanted it to go on. Just doesn't seem fair. Hope we can both find a measure of peace in time.

Thank you Marty. How awful it is to have to go to work (I support myself) and see the world just going on as if nothing happened. I know we (my family) have to give it time, but it hurts so much.  Thank you all again for your kind words.

Thank you both for listening. It helps to write feelings down.

My brother was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer on February 4th. He died on March 10th.  They gave him 2 months to 22 months. My sister and I were with him when they gave us the death sentence, but right away we said well we will do this and that, carrot juice, supplements. He opted for chemo as he felt this was his only chance. He had one chemo treatment and it all went bad. He went into the hospital with severe pain. His colon had ruptured. I stayed at the hospital with him and he vomited all night long. He was in pain even with morphine. My brothers and sisters came. My parents died young and since 1983 it has been the six of us. He developed sepsis and it was horrible and traumatic to watch my brother die and there was nothing I could do. I feel like I let him down, like I should have demanded that on Wednesday when he went in that they find the problem before it got to the point it did. My brother was 62 and the adventurer of the family. He skydived, rode a Harley around the country, kayaked, and was full of life. He was loved by so many people for his wonderful generous nature and how much fun he was. He worked all his life and we thank God that he retired at 59.5.  It is not fair that this happened to him, he was such a good and kind man. I want to remember the wonderful life he had but the hospital scenes keep replaying in my head. I will never get over it. I am just going through the motions. He would be so mad at me as his favorite saying was "deal with it, and move on". I want to honor his life by having the best life I can, but the pain of losing him seems insurmountable.