Len

So how long were you no contact?  When did you get back in each other's lives?  Did initiate or did he?

The last thing she said is she is 110% all about her.  That sorta selfishness must have always been lurking.  I have experienced loss and yet i would never think that way

The sadness will subside one day?  I can't believe how mean she has been to me.  How cold.  I can't believe this is even the same person 

Thank you!  I totally see your point.  I have friends who lost parents and they don't end their marriages and say I only care about me.  They hold on to those who stand by them.  It's a bizarre selfishness that I think was probably always there but I never really saw until the defences were down 

Thanks for taking the time to respond.  I feel like I am drowning and no one understands.   Telling me to move on.  But just like she lost her father, I lost her.  The person I know is gone hence a death for me too, yet I am not being cruel...I am trying to embrace people.  MartyT, what do you think this reveals?  I am trying to make sense out of all of this

Sad to say...but this new her is not a great person now.   How she treated me is actually horrible.  Some even said it's this released her inner monster and she seems exceedingly narcissistic.  No one else matters to her but her.  I miss my person.  I don't even recognize her now.

So hard to not take this personally.  She says wants to be free (i guess to find happiness) but isn't  doing to work on herself...no therapy, nothing.  Doesn't even talk about loosing her dad.  It's like she is being someone else to try and heal but she seems to be just displaying damaging behaviour 

Ya apparently she is now having one night stands...this is not the girl I knew who told me I was her movie 

I get so hurt that she is out there hanging out with everyone but me...when they weren't even there for her.  I did everything right and with love and none of it matters.  It's like how is she having fun?!  Is she even having fun?  And if she is having fun then where's the grief?!?

Thanks for helping me.  I want to be friends.  She doesn't cause she can't do feelings and I love her.  I love her so much that I would try very hard to be her friend, but it's like everything so saw in me is gone.  The person I met, is gone and yet i am still the same...the same person that she was attracted to, that made her laugh,  that took care of her.  Try as I might...I can't help but take this personally.  If I was so awesome, wouldn't she want me around?!  If this happened to me I would have held on to love tight cause life is precious.  I can't even think straight 

So her behaviour is actually common?  I'm just collateral damage

That's so sad.  I am like why can't we be just friends?!?  Why does everyone stay and i get cut when I was the only there for you.  It doesn't make sense to me at all

Even when you just wanted to be his friend?

It's so sad.  It's not like we are in a relationship anymore but she knows I still love her, hence wanting to be her friend, and she can't do it.  Yet she is hanging with people who didn't even check in on her

The hard part is it seems that she can be friends with other people who were in her life at that time.  Just not me, they were barely there for her and I was and then some, yet I get cut.  Why is this?