I'm 22 years old and a year ago my mom died of breast cancer.
My mom and I were never friends. She was deeply insecure and afraid while I was always outgowing and confident.
We were like fire and ice. We fought almost every day and said horrible words to each other.
8 years ago she found a lump in her breast. She was afraid to tell anyone she was in pain and suffering so she drank to numb the pain.
She drank. We fought. She drank more. I left.
In November of 2014 she went to the doctor and got diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. Within 6 months she had completely changed. I fought her to keep fighting but It was a battle we were destined to lose.
In nine months she was gone. It happened so quickly that I didn't have time to process , to prepare. Even though we had never gotten along I had never imagined my life with out her.
I beg everyday for another her chance to tell her that I'm sorry and love her.
I spend my time remember every momments trying to think what i could have done differently. How if I wasn't so busy fightibg with her that I could have saved her.
I can't sleep. I can't stop crying. I'm afraid of living life with out her and I am filled with so much regret that I have panic attacks. I don't know how to move forward.
How do I make memories without you.
in Loss of a Parent or Grandparent
Posted
Hello,
I'm typing this because I need help.
I'm 22 years old and a year ago my mom died of breast cancer.
My mom and I were never friends. She was deeply insecure and afraid while I was always outgowing and confident.
We were like fire and ice. We fought almost every day and said horrible words to each other.
8 years ago she found a lump in her breast. She was afraid to tell anyone she was in pain and suffering so she drank to numb the pain.
She drank. We fought. She drank more. I left.
In November of 2014 she went to the doctor and got diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. Within 6 months she had completely changed. I fought her to keep fighting but It was a battle we were destined to lose.
In nine months she was gone. It happened so quickly that I didn't have time to process , to prepare. Even though we had never gotten along I had never imagined my life with out her.
I beg everyday for another her chance to tell her that I'm sorry and love her.
I spend my time remember every momments trying to think what i could have done differently. How if I wasn't so busy fightibg with her that I could have saved her.
I can't sleep. I can't stop crying. I'm afraid of living life with out her and I am filled with so much regret that I have panic attacks. I don't know how to move forward.
Can anyone help?