ARhea

Thank you both for your responses.  I will read the articles/stories you reference.  I appreciate your kind words and your support.  I will continue to use this site and it is helpful.

Hello, I am new to the group.  I have grieved before, but this is different and unique and I am not sure how to mourn this loss.  I have been going through marital difficulty for a few years now. While on a summer weekend away with friends three years ago, I met someone. I received a facebook friend request from him after we met.  I accepted.  By chance, we saw each other again at the same location for the following three years.  During that time, our correspondence on facebook/text was ocassional until recently.  However, it was obvious that we had a connection or mutual attraction, although we never acted upon it.  Last month, he admitted in a text that he did have feelings for me.  As I'm seeing the end of my marriage, I was not only happy to hear this but responded that I did, too.  We both talked about how we were looking forward to seeing one another this upcoming summer.  He was there when I needed him to be.  As I was feeling the neglect of a loveless marriage, I had someone in my life, even remotely, that made me feel loved.  Sadly, only month to the day of his admission of how he felt, he suddenly passed away from a heart attack.  He was reletively young, too, so this was a complete shock.  I cannot believe that he is gone.  What went with him is the thought of what could be between us, as well. HIs loss was huge to so many;  he was divorced, but had two children.  He left behind many close friends and family.  I am definitely not alone in mourning him, but I cannot mourn with his loved ones.  They don't know me, probably don't know that I existed.  Only a few of his friends know who I am, but they don't know of "us".   I was not able to attend the funeral as his home is 15 hours away from mine. I have told some of my friends that know him of our shared feelings, so when they are available to me it does help somewhat. But I can't openly mourn in my home. How do I grieve?  I'll return to where we met this summer - I can't stop thinking of how hard that will be, or great it would have been...