bgcnpry

Thank you for your help. I was feeling that I was alone. Sometimes I feel like I might lost someone again. I know I might lost someone but I cant handle another death.

5 hours ago, kayc said:

bgcnpry,

I'm sorry you lost your dad.  I don't know how old you are, but I was 29 when I lost my father.  You haven't had much time to process this, the early days of grief are rough.  I hope you will heed Marty's suggestion and try to get yourself a grief counselor.  

I am 29 too. My husband burried him. I couldnt even watch it. I was devasted. I have lots of IF's. I wish we could spend more time together. I feel his smell, I hear his voices. My sister was also devasted but she is stronger than me. She already started working. I cant even sleep! Or eat

5 hours ago, MartyT said:

My dear, I'm so sorry for your loss. You don't say whether your father was on a hospice service when he died. If he was, the hospice can offer up to 13 months of bereavement services to you (at no cost), and I urge you to take advantage of that. If he was not in hospice, I strongly encourage you to ask his doctor or the hospital or the mortuary for assistance in learning what bereavement services are available in your community. I also suggest that you see your own primary care physician to make sure you are in good health and taking good care of yourself. You say that you don't fear death, but you do fear pain ~ which leads me to wonder if your experience of your dad's terminal illness and your memories of his death were traumatic for you.   

I am from Turkey. We dont have that kind of services in here. Its just psychatrist or psychologist. I had a panic dissorder due to my big exam 3 years ago. After exam it passed away itself. When my father got sick this feelings come back. His face comes to my eyes like anytime. I am so scarred that I might lost my mum or hubby or sister. I am checking their breaths. So saaad. I am crying a lot

Hi,

My dad passed away 5 days ago from lung cancer which metastatic to brain. He had been diagnosed almost 2 years ago but 3 weeks ago we found out he had metastatic. Before this time we werent spending much of a time. My parents were divorced 25 years ago. Father was distanced to us. But during his sickness I took care of everything. Hospital time, doctoe visits, chemo etc.. now hes gone. I have lots of "what if" in my head. His face always come to my mind. I was little anxious person now I feel like I had major panic attacks. I also fear of getting cancer or someone I love gets it. I cant handle an another lost. I dont fear of death. I fear of pain  some one plz help