Suzanne Larsen

I know it takes a long time to begin to overcome grief and that's just what has to happen. It has to be overcome. The problem is that we are too weak and helpless to even contemplate overcoming. We need something bigger than ourselves. Something or someone who has strength for us to draw on. This is what I will be praying for you.

Hi Marge, Just hold on! I so identify with what you said. You have that mustard seed and it will grow. The reason I know that God's grace is sufficient is that I lived through those years that you are describing and going through now. When I look back, I see that He was getting me through it, even when I wasn't aware of it. I can report to you that there is joy at the end of this hard, painful journey even though it doesn't seem like that can be possible.  It takes years, but there is light at the end of this dark tunnel. 

Hi again Gwen,  You are right. God gives solace to those who trust Him. I wish you could too, but since you don't, I will continue to pray for comfort and strength for you. You seem like such a nice person and I hate it that you are suffering so. Please know that I wish the very best for you.

Dear Gwen, I wonder if you are doing the same thing I did? I was trying to fight the reality of Rick's loss. I was trying to make it go away but I couldn't make him come back. I couldn't make him part of my life anymore.There seemed to be nothing I could do. I was at 3 years too when I knew I couldn't go on that way. I came to a fork in the road, a turning point if you will. I read something that was just unbelievable. It was a verse: "I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for good and not evil, plans to give you hope and a future." This was so strange because I had no hope and my future had died with my husband. What I was going through did not seem good. It was unbearable. In fact it seemed like the very embodiment of evil. The verse kept coming to my mind though. It was what I wanted. I took a chance. I tested it. It lifted my heart. I decided to believe it. As I began to experience it as true, I embraced it. I began to cling to it. I held on for dear life. In time, I realized that what I was believing and clinging to was not the verse, but the One who had said the verse. It was totally a choice I made. The God who said the verse was inviting me to believe Him. It is a choice He gives to everyone. I found Him true. He did indeed give me a hope and a future.

You are welcome Gwen. It sounds like we experienced our grief in a very similar way.  If you don't mind, I am going to follow your posts so that I can pray specifically for your needs and feelings. I am convinced that it was the prayers of my friends that started me on the road to healing. God bless you and comfort you.

Hi Guinivere, I know what you are saying. Those first few years after Rick died, I tried to convince myself that things really weren't that different. If I was doing laundry, he could have been out mowing the yard or if i was making dinner, it was no different than if he just wasn't home from work yet. The problem was there was no one to bring that cold glass of tea to in the yard and when 5:00 rolled around, I didn't hear him call out "Hoooh!"  as he bounded up the stairs. It does get more real and much more difficult as the first few years drag by. I could not imagine nor did I want another man in my life either--Still don't. But, finally for me, there came a point where the memories began to turn sweet instead of devastating. The clock of my life started to tick again. I am praying that will happen for you, sooner rather than later.