magics

On 3/28/2018 at 8:15 AM, kayc said:

I don't think loss/grief is something we "get over" but rather learn to get through...little by little we begin to adjust and cope, it can take a very long time for that adjustment and we're all different just as our relationships are different and our coping skills/personalities are different, so is the effort we put into our grief and adjustment.

I love my dog...no, I mean I REALLY love my dog!  I got woke up different times in the night, last one being at 1:30 am...I laid there until 4 am trying unsuccessfully to get back to sleep, but as I laid there, I was listening to my dog's breathing, soft snoring, and it was such a comforting sound to me.  Someday that sound will be gone, I will be where you are now, I have no idea how I'll get through it, but I reckon the same way I got through my husband's death.  It felt like I died that day, and in a way, I did, the old life we had was gone, I had to learn to live without him, no longer able to snuggle up in his arms or feel protected like he made me feel.  No longer able to talk over my day with him or consult with him about things (well, I still do, I just don't get an audible reply).  There is no end to this journey, no expiration date on grief.  When my husband died, from that moment on, everything in my life was "before" or "after" that point.  That was nearly 13 years ago.  I've learned to live alone, I've learned to make all the decisions, to hire contractors, to live on a strict budget, to be my own best friend.  I've learned to create some what of a life I can live, enough interaction with others that I'm not 100% isolated.  After I retired I had to develop a schedule, get involved with some volunteer activities in my church and senior site to keep busy.  My purpose is in helping others with grief.  I've heard Dr. Phil say a couple of times that we need to find meaning in our grief/suffering, and I have found that to be true.  It helps.  

Nine years ago I adopted my big boy...he was a 79 lb Siberian Husky/Golden Retriever that developed into 140 lbs!  They had told me he was 63 lbs, but they must have weighed him when they found him, not when he left, because the vet said otherwise.  He has health issues, Colitis, and I cook for him, for the rest of his life.  He's now at goal weight, 109.  He's the love of my life, other than my deceased husband, my other "soulmate".  I know no other dog will replace him, and I'll never have another Arlie.  But I also can't see me living without a dog in my life, living totally alone (Kitty is 23 and doesn't have a whole lot longer).  I imagine I will adopt another dog after Arlie goes, how long I'll wait, I don't know, I'll know when the time is right and when I meet the right one, just as I knew with Arlie.  But my heart will forever grieve Arlie when he goes, just as I continue to grieve Skye, my granddoggy that used to live with me, he's been gone 4 1/2 years now, hard to believe!  He was very special and I'll never meet another like him.

You will always grieve your Magic, but hopefully will learn to continue with him living inside your heart now.
This is my Arlie...

 

KayC your story just tore at my heart and I hear you when you say to process your grief you now help others. I love that about you and you are so right our dogs are such a part of us and nothing or no one will ever change that fact. He is a beautiful dog <3 I know it time I will get another dog but I must heal my heart first as I would not be mentally or psychically  ready with my health issues and bad back. I have been looking at Shelties all week and they are all beautiful. I just need proper time to grieve my Magic and not rush to get another dog so fast. I know people have said get another dog it will help but all in good time GOd Bless you

So precious that gentle face aww I know how you feel Dixiebum

Thank you KayC the video got me crying it is beautiful. Today is one week my Magic gone This house is not the same.I go outside at night like I did everynight and look for him in the yard - it is so hard. I do not think rather I know in my heart I will never get over this. Thank you for your words of comfort. I appreciate that so much

thank you KayC and to Dixiebum I can't seem to shake this pain in my heart. I am already not so well with my health. I miss my boy like crazy as he was not only my best friend he was my soulmate now he is my Dog Angel. So is yours. I never want to go through this again this way. My Daddy passed here in my house in 2013 that was hard enough but I knew he was suffering too and he went peacefully in his sleep. My Magic was eating something when she gave him his first shot and then the 2nd and third I will never forget the image - I am so bothered by it. Maybe I will go to grief counselor for pets. He was my second son. I feel all alone now. I don't want to cry with anyone they do not know my heart and hurting right now. Please reach out to me. I am here for you. You are right that love is special beyond compare. Mona 

I am going through the same exact thing and it is the worst pain I ever had. I lost my Magic dog on March 20th not even a week yet and it feels like years since I seen him.  The house is not the same at all and the pain is so bad. Dixiebum I totally understand how you are feeling. SO sorry for your loss.