Kayla82

We are planning on doing something special for his birthday. I'm going to get balloons so my kids can write on the balloons and let them go. My youngest  (she's 6)was very close to him and lately she's been crying a lot. When dad passed away, my mom and I told her and she didn't say much or cry but i think she didn't believe us at first.

My dad's birthday would have been the 16th this month which also falls on fathers day this year.. The past week has been pretty difficult for me as it gets closer to his birthday. Mom said we'll make it a nice day, but at the same time... i know i'm going to fall apart.. last year he had to stay in the hospital and the nurses came in and surprised him with a cake while singing happy birthday to him. Luckily i was able to take a video on my phone and post it to youtube.. I know he isn't tired or suffering anymore but it doesn't change the fact he is gone..

I've been pushing everyone away including my best friend. I just don't want to talk to anyone right now.. I know they care but i just don't want to talk.

Thank you kayc.. i have a difficult time looking at his pictures.. i didn't have the problem at first but i do now.

Thank you kayc it's been a rough couple of weeks but i know things will be okay in time..

This was dad towards the end.. i miss him so much. It's not fair you know?  Sunday will be 2 years that he was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia.. 😭 

I have my best friend who lives in michigan i called him the other night and broke down and cried. Today we had to put my mom and dad's cat down,he was old and in pain.. i just hope the rest of the year goes better..

This was the last picture i took when dad was still alive a couple hours before he passed.. 

Thank you both for the kind words. I can't look at dad's picture without crying now. I didn't have that problem when he first passed away. 🙁

Thank you for the kind words. I know everyone means well, but at the same time, i just want to be left alone.. i miss him so much and i don't know when I'll be okay again. 🙁

I'm missing my dad so much today. For the last two years he had been fighting leukemia. He did to go into remission the first time very quickly but then it came back in January of 2018. We knew his health  was getting bad because he could hardly want to the bathroom without feeling so tired. My mom  came out of the bedroom and found my dad laying on the floor not responding but breathing. Once we got to the hospital we had found out he had a massive brain hemorrhage. He passed away peacefully hours later at 12:07 a.m. on 3/8/2019. I never seen anybody pass away and when he took his last breath I bolted out of the room screaming as i walked down the hall.. lately i don't want to really talk to anyone and when i do, they mention that he's no longer suffering and i knew it wasn't going to be much longer before he passed. I agree but it wasn't supposed to happen like this..