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Solitude

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Posts posted by Solitude


  1. Hello again.

    I havent been here for a while. It has been such a horrible period for me. I had a heart surgery  in september ( for my congestive heart failure ) . I coded 3 Times in the table but I Guess I am too stubborned to die. Or I love my daughter too much to leave her in such a Young age ( She is 21 month old now ).

    In 4 days IT will be one year since my sweet mom had her stroke and in 31 days IT will be one year since She died.

    I miss her more than ever . I feel lonlier more than ever. I dont know how I will celebrate Christmas without her but I owe to my daughter to do my Best and put a Happy face for her. She has been through a lot and I dont want to rob her the joy of Santa Claus. 

    Sorry for the grammar and spelling mistakes.

    Wishing all of You a peacefull and beautifull Christmas.

    Ela

    • Like 1

  2. Dear KayC

    First, You are not alone. You are în my prayers and thought. Second, I am so, so, sorry for your diagnose. I will ask my priests to have a special service on friday for You. 

    I am so sorry that I cant do more for You. I wish I could Be in person with You on friday to support You. 

    My daughter is 14 month old. My husbant was having his love affair while I was 7 month pregnant. I didnt know up until 2 days ago. I was sooooo blind . 

    My world was turned up side down once more în 4 months time.

    I will go on for my daughter. 

    Hugs for You too dear KayC.

    May God bless You.

    Ela


  3. Thank You Kayc , Marty and I Praise Him for your kind words and warmth . 

    Yesterday night i dreamed my mom. She was sorrounded by a bright light, în our bathroom, She touched me and I her. I woke up smiling and looking for her. Only to realise that was just a dream. And i cried, and cried.....

    Today my husbant came home, packed his bags and told me he want a divorce. He is having an affair for 1 and 1/2 year with the ,,love of his life,, . 

    My world is falling apart. I am standing next to my daughter, looking at her, and wondering what She and I did so wrong to deserve all this. 

    My mom is dead, my husbant is gone, we are all alone in this world.

    I dont know how much can I stand. Only the thought that She only has me in this world is keeping me alive.

    Thank You for even reading this.

    God bless You all.

    Ela

    • Like 1

  4. 12 minutes ago, MartyT said:

    You can talk to us about your mum, Ela. Tell us what a wonderful person she was! What was special about her? Do you have a picture of her you'd be willing to share with us? We are here, and we are listening 

    She was very bright, had a wonderful sense of humour, full of life and especially good hearted, willing to help other. Everything was special about her , because She was my mom. 

    I do not have a pictures of her în my phone or laptop because She didnt like to poze. I only have few pictures on paper( classic ones) and I have to scan them on my laptop. I will do it some times, when I will not cry everytime I see a picture of her.

    I didnt got to say good-bye, but I said a lot of I Love You Mom. When She was awake and în coma. 

    Thank You and God bless You.

    Ela

    • Like 2

  5. Thank You both for your reply. You are truly wonderful.

    I go to work, I take care of my house hold and my daughter. I can function but I am in a deep pain. I cant talk to anyone about it and about my mum, what a wonderful person She was. I cry when no one can see me ,so I cant Be judged  being weak or childish. 

     I have been reading some of the links Marty listed în other posts. It helped a lot. It helped also the links You both gave me.

    A statement I found to Be especially true for me : grief has no time limit. Mourning is a life long process . 

    I Hope I can talk to You again when I feel that pain is overwhellming .

    Thank You again for not judgeing me,  and God bless You and your loved ones.

    Ela


  6. Hello  everyone, 

    I am new here. 107 days ago I Lost my mum. She died of a stroke and heart failure in the ICU. She was on full life suport because She was în the coma. I never had the chance to say good bye to her. She was 69 yers old.  Since then I am in deep pain. My husbant, my friends, the priests I have been talking keep telling me to get over it, because I am a grown woman, not a baby to cry for mom. I am not phisical welI also.Iwent to a cardiologist because of my high BP( had it since mom died) 

    I went to counselling also. Not helping either. She wasnt a grief counselor . I cant afford private sesions so I went to public health care .

    I dont know how to manage my pain. 

    I admire each and everyone here for your wisdom, resilience and warmth in face of death. 

    I dont have none of the above qualities, because of I had them  I would be able to manage my emotions .

    Please, a piece of advice. Thank You.

    Ela

    • Like 1
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