As12

Hi MartyT, 

thank you for taking the time to read and reply and sending through the below articles to read for myself, 

im hoping they may help in some ways 

6 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I’m sorry you are here only because you have experienced such a loss and especially at such a young age.  This is a family that understands all aspects of grief and everything felt is valid.  Real. The phone calls, TV bothering you, they are triggers we have all felt.  Post anything you feel and we will hear you.  Share our experiences.  You are now forever changed by the void your partner left.  I’m not the person I was andnever will be.  People in the world that have not experienced this will never understand til it happens to them.  That us the hard part.  It’s been 5 years for me and my husband and I had almost 40 years together and people still try to tell me they understand and what I could do.  They have no clue.  I had a few years to prepare also.  It was not as I thought.  Yours was sudden and that is so shocking to your heart.  I hope you do find some solace here.  I know I come here whenever I have a tough time or something to share, good or bad.  There are no judgements.  Just understanding and that is a lifesaver.  It’s kept me afloat during very apdark times.  Keep writing.  We are here.  

Hi gwenivere, 

thank you for taking the time to read and reply,
I think it’s because I’ve had such a short space of time to grieve that it’s just hitting me all at once, as 2 months after he had passed a close close family member got arrested, that was it my grief was taken away from grieving for my ex to grieving for the person I lost in the house and around my family, 

I never had that time, and when something as big as seeing them in the state they are as this wasn’t a pretty sight, it sticks with you burns an image in your head, I had no time to heal, 
 

and now that the anniversary of the first year is approaching I’m just getting scared on how I’ll be, wether I can cope, ive already had multiple break downs this week as I know each day it’s closer, 

but I’m hoping I do find some comfort, 

I couldn’t imagine 40 years, so I’m sorry to hear 

I think this has become my last resort in finding some comfort, some way of coping and just for someone to understand the pain instead of telling me it’s all okay, 

I lost my ex partner/bestfriend of 3 years, a year on the 20th of this month and it broke me completely, it was so sudden and unexpected as he was only 25 at the time, I am now 22 and still not finding it any easier than it was at the start, 

I constantly have moments where I call his phone hoping he would pick up just to hear his voice as he was the only person I could call late at night when I was having a bad day and he would just sit and talk til I was okay, but now I don’t have that and it’s all hitting me at once now that it’s coming up to being a year, 

Due to it being a car accident, all them adverts are on the TV at the moment, or you get the silly calls from people that you say you were in a car accident that wasn’t your fault it’s a real set back for myself, I’m still waiting 4 months later on my grievement counselling so I’m hoping this gives me some comfort or advice, 

 I also had the traumatic time of visiting his coffin the day before his funeral but due to the state he was in I wasn’t able to see him, but the funeral home had forgot to close his coffin so that image has been burnt in my mind, so when people say remember good memories of course I do but at the same time that’s my last image of him, 

im unsure what I’ll get from this but I’m hoping in some ways more than one it helps,

thank you for taking the time to read