Jeantatum

Thank you. It has been 3yrs. and still feels like it just happened. I told my husband that I want to move. So many memories. I feel him everyday. I was told at church that when people die they go to sleep until resurrection. So I won't get little signs from him. I just want him back.

I didn't know my son was depressed. He lived away at college, but came home some weekends. I don't know how I didn't see it. I got a call from my other son. He said Alec was hit by a train," he's gone mom". He leaned into the train. I still can't believe it. My son got me into his brother's social media accounts.  I had thought we were really close, but I read his posts and was devastated. He had told friends. He told friends he wanted to die. No one ever said anything. He had been using social media that I'd never heard of. Nothing strange, I just didn't know about it. When I had to get his stuff out of his apartment, I searched his room everywhere. I was convinced he'd never leave me without a goodbye.

So he was suffering from mental illness... I didn't know. I have to live with this the rest of my life. I miss him so much it's hard to breathe.