weaksoul

I got busy with some family matters. There are times when the void hits hard but mostly I feel like I am on the road to recovery. Thank you so much again for your thoughts and wishes. God bless you!!!

Hi Marty, 

Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts. I highly appreciate your concern and sharing the link to the webinar. I will surely check it out. Wish all the best to all my friends on this forum. Kind regards!!!
 

On 9/19/2023 at 4:37 AM, kayc said:

I'm turning 71 in 2 1/2 weeks...the older I get, the closer our reunion day!

God bless you with good health and high spirit!!!

I agree Kay, the pain of separation is considered to be worst pain of all. May God bless you with peace and comfort. Regards!!!

On 9/16/2023 at 2:45 AM, kayc said:

I was shocked in the beginning, but have lived alone 18 years now, somehow we get through this, although everyone handles it differently.  We find our own path through this.  We continue to miss them, life is never the same again, but we do it.  (((hugs)))

Thank you Kay for sharing your experience thru this journey. Now that I can see myself getting thru this but the fact that life is never the same is like a constant nagging pain. Thanks again for the support and warmth. God bless you!

20 hours ago, Widow2015 said:

Weaksoul:  I totally understand how you wish you could bury this pain somewhere.  In the past eight years I have had those feelings too.  On the days that are difficult I try to tell myself I will just have to keep going and hope the difficult day will pass swiftly.  Take good care and I hope you have good days more often than not.  Dee

Thank you Dee, appreciate the encouragement and good wishes. Knowing that others have done it gives you the hope that you can do it. God bless you!!!
 

Hi all, 
Hope you are all doing well. While I am feeling a bit better and I can see myself surviving but it's still quite painful. And it's so difficult to deal with the same pain every day. I want to bury this pain deep somewhere so that it does not come back but it's not happening. Now there are times, when I don't feel it much but then all of sudden the pain will hit with full force. 

Just wanted to vent out a little bit. God bless you all...

On 8/12/2023 at 4:41 AM, kayc said:

Take care of yourself each day! 

Thank you Kayc, it's hard but I am trying.  You take care as well. God bless you.

6 hours ago, kayc said:

It's totally to be expected. I miss mine every day.  With time you will grow more accustomed to the changes it's meant for your life. For instance, we always got groceries together, made a day of it, we have 100 mile round trip to the store so we'd go get pizza and visit friends and get groceries on the way home.  I'd eagle eye the cashier and he'd bag the groceries.  After he died it was so hard, my daughter went and got them. And when I did try again, I'd see all these old couples together, it'd about kill me!  Now I'm more used to it but every once in a while it hits me in the gut when I see an old couple in love and doing what we did...

Dear Kay, thank you for giving me the hope and assurance that this path is walkable. And at the same time I am sorry for your pain as well. May God bless you with peace and comfort. 

15 hours ago, MartyT said:

You are still very early in your grief, my friend, and the shock of losing your beloved is only just beginning to wear off. With every passing day, you're becoming more and more aware of all that you have lost.

As Litsa Williams writes in Secondary Loss -- one loss isn't enough??!! :

Quote

Dear Marty, thank you so much for providing a detailed insight into what's going on inside me. Thanks for all the reference materials and citations. As you said there will be a "New Normal" forming inside me, I am hoping I will be able to accept this "new-normal" and build my life around it. I am leaning on the Almighty now to give me the strength and courage to stay positive and get through this intense pain. 

Thank you so much again for your support and guidance on this journey through grief. God bless you!!! 

Hi all, just want to confirm if I am on the right trajectory and not going crazy, it's been almost 5 months and there hasn't been a single moment where I haven't missed my wife. It's non-stop and I am longing for her to be back. Please advise if it's expected. 

Thank you Marty, I have signed up for this session. Kind regards!!! 

2 hours ago, kayc said:

I think the best way to relieve that pressure/stress is to prepare...get documentation and plans in place. Do you have parents or a sibling that would serve as guardian in the event something should happen? Get a will drawn up with clear plans, we had this when we were raising our kids.

Having gone through this with your husband, you are aware that it is a real possibility...unlikely, but real nonetheless.  Talk to family members and find a good lawyer.  I'm fortunate, my neighbor Iris does this as a service for our community, low cost and walks us through it, even has a notary on hand.

Thank you Kay, appreciate your thoughts and guidance. Yes, I am quite positive that my brother will serve as the guardian. However, I haven't worked on the legal aspect of it. I will get started on it. Thanks much again. Regards!
God bless you!!!

9 hours ago, MartyT said:

If you are constantly worried about this, you can be sure that your kids are worried about it, too. When young kids lose one of their parents, it is only natural for them to wonder (whether they say so or not) what will happen to them if the other parent dies. They need reassurance from you that you are in good health, that you will do all you can to be careful and stay healthy, and that there will always be someone there to take care of them if something happens to you (assuming all of that is true). Are there grandparents or other relatives in your family whom you would trust to be there for your children if you became ill or incapacitated? Have you talked with an attorney / estate planner about this? Is your will up to date? See Planning For Your Child’s Care in the Case of Death or Disability  ❤️

Thank you Marty, I haven't really thought about legal implications incase something happens to me. I will take your message as wakeup call and start working on it.

However, I do trust my brother to take care of my kids if something happens to me. We have been good brothers all life long. I have some assurance that they will be good hands. But I think I need to just start taking care of myself....
Thanks so much Marty, appreciate your support and guidance. Best regards! God bless you!

4 hours ago, kayc said:

I miss that.  My son was in the Air Force and my daughter grown when my George died, Melissa stayed with me a few months, I thank God for that.  I was lost, you know?

Being a widowed parent is such a difficult situation, I am not sure what's better whether to have young kids or the grown up kids. While young kids give you a purpose to live but at the same time it adds so much pressure. I am constantly worried "what if something happens to me"?

11 hours ago, kayc said:

I'm so glad you have your kids there!  They are such a blessing.  Enjoy your time with them.  I miss my kids visiting, they only come once every few years.

Yes, kids are a blessing, they are feeding me life. Thank you so much. Though they are quite young at the moment but I feel sad to think of the time when they grow up and get busy with their own life. Hopefully God will give me the comfort and peace in that time.  

4 hours ago, kayc said:

Haven't heard from you in a couple of days, I know better than to ask how you are but want to anyway...keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.  The early days are tough, it will get better someday, I promise, not like it was, it never will be that, but better anyway.

Hi Kayc, thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. And thank you for checking on me. I am doing a bit better (kids are home and I am enjoying there presence) today but the last couple of days were tough. 
Thank you for the encouragement, I a hoping it will become manageable and less intense as the time progresses.
God bless you and God bless all us all with his comfort and peace. Sincere Regards!

On 8/4/2023 at 8:36 AM, Widow2015 said:

weaksoul: Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.  Dee

Thank you Dee, you are so kind! Regards!

On 8/3/2023 at 7:08 PM, MartyT said:

Thank you Marty, appreciate it a lot. Regards!

Dear friends, please pray for me. I am hurting crazy bad today. It constantly feels like I don't belong here and then at times becomes overwhelming.

7 hours ago, Margm said:

My positive was a sandwich with pimento cheese.  My negative was, I can have cheese in small amounts, but 0/none pimento.  I added another cross in front of my necessity.  (I think I have thirteen), unlucky number.  I said to it, I promise God, I will never eat pimento again.  Sometimes you can get by with things, sometimes not.  

A big positive:  A fire hit one of our transformers and we were informed it housed Minden's grid. (Whatever that means).  My sister, on oxygen, was a nervous wreck.  We are having ALL over 100 degrees weather, Louisiana is humid, she cannot get outside.  We were told the whole city (about 11,000 to 12,000 people, were going to be without electricity, imminent, for unknown period of time.  We don't live in the old timey dog-trot houses with high porches, high ceilings, trees all around.  Some of us now live in apartments where we do not open the windows.  We keep up with updates on the computer.  Just told us no outages were planned.  With the spring storms, some of those big, nice houses had those big trees fall on them and destroy them.  They were w/o electricity for weeks.  Makes you wish for that sweet cool mountain air.  I guess that comes with the negative of forest fires and smoke.  But for now, we have been granted a reprieve and the A/C is working fine.  So, that is a positive.  I remember waking up to damp sheets in the morning when we had no A/C, but window fans blew in the cool morning humidity.  Those were good days.  

Hope your ankle keeps doing better and better.  There are so many "down" days, we do have positivity sometimes.  

Thanks for sharing your experiences. And it's good to hear that you have got your A/C working again. 

7 hours ago, kayc said:

My positive is today we made it on our whole walk! (Day nine of foot injury.)

Wish you a speedy recovery. 

Hello friends, Let's keep this thread going. I don't have much positive to share, however, coming back to this forum is a routine for me. I think all Grieving souls are somehow connected. Each experience you share is cherished/lived/reimagined by every other grieving soul...God bless you all.

16 hours ago, MartyT said:

We are holding you in our hearts and lifting you in our prayers, dear one. You are not alone. ❤️

Thank you Marty for your prayers. You have such a kind and beautiful soul. I am in debt to you for providing this platform. It's providing life/hope to people like me who would have perished otherwise. God bless you!!!
Regards! 

8 hours ago, kayc said:

Praying for you, Hon, we've been where you are...

Thank you for your Prayers Kayc, so kind of you. Regards!