friend

It has been over two years since I lost my sweet baby boy, Michael Garrett Parnell. He was 19yrs old and was killed instantly by a drunk driver on 2-26-04. It seems like yesterday....my heart has been shattered. The first year I was just numb....I cried all the time and could hardly cope with life itself...into the second year I became very angry and still cried all the time...now I still cry all the time, but I dont cry in front of people. People dont know what to do with you when you cry in front of them...they just stare at you and it becomes very awkward. I have searched for answers, read books, written to congress to change laws and NOTHING helps. My life changed the nite Garrett was killed. That is even hard to say or type. I have days I can barely function and cry alone all day. There are times without warning, I am knocked to the ground with grief. I am on the floor in my bathroom or kitchen crying my eyes out. I have asked WHY so many times and no answers come back. In the first year, I was out at the cemetary everyday laying next to his gravesite....the gardners use to mow around me...it is all so sad and not suppose to be this way. I am still searching, I have no one to talk to. I am now also divorced and my only other child, my 26yr old daughter and 5yr old granddaughter, live in the next town. I just need to find other moms like me....I dont ever want to stop talking about my baby, Garrett, he was my best friend and my buddy...he was just like me. As I write this the tears just keep streaming down my face, I miss him so much. No one understands or knows the torture and heartache I go through everyday. I go to work and put on my happy face when all along I am so broken inside. I guess I just need to know that I am not alone....thank you in advance for reading this....Garrett's mom forever

I am sorry for your loss. I actually knew Michael. We went to school together in Geyserville. He was a wonderful person and so much fun to be around. We had a lot of good times in school. I just wanted to let you know of a website that is memorial site. My friend from middle school was shot and killed by her boyfriend and her family made a website for her on memory-of.com. http://ourbelovedbrittany.memory-of.com/candles.aspx It seems to really help. It is as if you are talking to them. I just thougt that I would let you know. I also just wanted to say that I am glad there is a sign in rememberence of Michael in Healdsburg. I think of him every time I drive past there. I am sorry again and everyone of his friends miss him very much. God bless you and stay strong.