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leeann

THANK YOU Those threads were really very helpful and informative. I am so very grateful to you for taking the time to find and post those threads.

I haven't cried for the past month... now I can't seem to stop but reading those helped me get an idea of where my dad might be coming from and understand in a way that he just can't explain.

Thank you so very much

N

Derek & Karen

Thank you for taking the time to respond. My mother was always the one we could talk to - now, because she is gone this has come up and I need to talk to her perhaps more than I ever have before.

Thanks for filling that void. It means more then you may ever know

Sorry for posting this in a forum that is not intended for me, but I really need the guidance from someone with a few more years under their belt then I have. If you've lost your spouse recently, I am so very sorry for your loss. PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS POST

My mother died 3 months ago after a long bout with Cancer. After 3 years as caregiver and 47 years as husband, my father is understandably lost, lonely and probably a bit scared.

1 month ago, Dad decided to go on an international trip with the widow of his childhood best friend and her family – just to get away. Now he is ticketing a 1 week cruise for the widow and himself.

I don't begin to think that I (a son) am experiencing what he is, and I want him to find happiness again, but I don't think he is in the right place to make these decisions at this point.

He is already talking about “not getting married until mom is gone for at least a year”!

Has anyone been through this before? How can I discuss this with him in a way that he might hear and understand? I don't want to push him into being alone but I don't want to do things for the wrong reason either.

Any "parental" help would sure be appreciated.

My mother died 3 months ago after a long bout with Cancer. After 3 years as caregiver and 47 years as husband, my father is understandably lost, lonely and probably a bit scared.

1 month ago, Dad decided to go on an international trip with the widow of his childhood best friend and her family – just to get away. Now he is ticketing a 1 week cruise for the widow and himself.

Has anyone seen such radical and impulsive behavior from a parent after they lose a spouse? I don’t want to discourage him, but…. 90 days later? His childhood best friend’s widow? Come on!

He is already talking about “not getting married until mom is gone for at least a year”!

I would really appreciate advice from anyone who has been through this type of thing… How do I parent my parent?

HELP

I lost my mother 5 days ago to cancer. It was "anticipated". It was "for the best". It was and is the most horrible experience I have ever been through.

I'm sitting here at work - in my executive office, behind my executive desk, looking at my executive papers and wondering how I am supposed to continue to be what I have been. How am I supposed to keep doing what I have done. I went to her grave this morning and I see her name on the temporary marker and all I want to do is sit and stare. Then its time to go back to work and I come here and pretend.

I pretend for my father. I pretend for my kids. I pretend for my coworkers and I pretend for myself.

How do I move past where I am to get to someplace I want to be again? How do I move on when all I want to do is go back?

sorry for rambling.