Lisa, I certainly am not a young woman (46 yr old man), but I need some help from people who have lost their mom recenly. I've lost my mom very recently. I'm so sorry for your loss. I have a post just by yours. My mom passed away, after a valiant battle with cancer, on Saturday Sept 10. She was the one person who loved me unconditionally and who I trusted. I still can't believe my beautiful mom is gone. The pain is unbearable. I try to be strong (as she always was) and I end up weeping and sobbing like a little boy. My siblings are doing much better than I am (or at least they maintain their outward composure as we are all devastated!). My dad is alive, but I was nevr particularly close to him and although I try to give him the benefit of the doubt. In my opinion he is not a good man. He did not deserve my mom. She was a great and good woman. Reading your post touched me as I can tell how devoted to your mom you were. I don't know you, but I am positive that you made your mom's last days easier for her. She was proud of you and only wanted you to be happy because she loved you with all her heart. There's the rub--the one person in this life (the one who gives us life) who wants only for us to be happy leaves us and causes us to feel such anguish and heartbreak. If it comforts you I want you to know Lisa that at the worst time in my life your words have consoled me. You made me think of something other than my own grief. I only wish I could help you as I desperately tried soooo hard to help my mom in the last few hours and days of her llife. I have difficulty and break down when I think of my beautiful mom suffering. I wish I could have done something because my helplessness at that time tears me up. No living thing should suffer, but to see someone who was loved by all who knew her in pain is the worst thing in my life. It is so difificult. I know you understand. So it's essential that you know that evn though you have, and are, hurting to your core you have made it easier for me at this time. You hang in ther because I can tell that you have a good heart. It would be worse if you didn't have any emotions--at least I think so! My mom's in heaven and I feel as if I am in a livng hell. A kindred Spirit, TimA