I understand all the pain your going through and hopefully with every new day the pain will become less. We must never forget all the goodness and joy our pets have brought us whether they are with us for a short time or long time. Don't beat yourself up over should of's and could of's, your pet is in a better place now. Right now I myself am dealing with an illness of my pet and every day is a struggle for me. Just remember your pet with all the good qualities. Randie