Basically everything Ive ever read recommends that the toddler not be shielded but answered truthfully , and I beleive that. However, there is a set of special circumstances here. You see this child say her grandmother every day since she was born (babysat during work) until may of last year. She is now 3.5 yrs old and today and that grandmother passed away unexpectedly today. But she has not seen her since may of last year and has missed her terribly. That has been very hard to deal with but my older children were victims of a terrible crime by her husband and of course for the childs safety cannot see the grandmother if she refuses to leave him. But we didnt have any luck explaining that to a toddler. Now that "my mother" has died unexpectedly at a young age (58) this afternoon - we feel horrible a lot of guilt going around and we feel that not getting to see her grandchildren contributed to this - but their safety came first. The baby doesnt seem to mention her anymore. It almost seems cruel and unusual to say she will get to see her finally, remember her , but oh yeah , shes dead. So do we try to put her through this ? The older children need the closure (14 and 12) and they are going. The sheriff is keeping the criminal away so we can take the older children (it would violate his probation and I doubt he would survive the encounter with us .) No matter how weak the grandmother (my mother) was, and inaction and denial in our eyes was unforgiveable, the baby did love her. Any thoughts ???? We had not even dealt with the first issues yet (court just ended last dec on those issues - with a plea and probation yet) and now we have this to deal with. Its been a long year in which we had to shut our business down, move, etc. And Ive been on the road for my new job 2000 miles away since jan . Sometimes I feel really tired. thank you
