Jsph110

Yesterday I felt his presence during worship at church. I felt him sitting beside me and standing with the Praise Band while they were playing. The peace that I felt was overwhelming . . . but it doesn't last. I hope some day it will not be so elusive.

It was him

trying not to look too far into the future because it overwhelms me. Still taking life day by day. Still taking those baby steps. Today the pain is right at the surface. Today I long to have Brian with me. Today I'm not quite sure how I can get through this grief journey. Perhaps tomorrow will be more manageable.

to all my friends on this board who have supported me, offered prayer, and just listened when I needed to vent.

Keep posting

Many people think I should sell the house that we have lived in for 16 years and move to something smaller and without memories.

--I know you should. hunch.

I feel she is with me in the house and, for now, that is important.

-- she is.

goodness I work full time. If I didn't work, I think I would drive myself crazy.

--very good.

Keep posting and let us know how you are feeling. stay with us. if you are on msn, you can add me: syoks@hotmail.com. You are not alone.

Linda,

good to hear that you have a support system around you of people who love you. Also good to hear that your son is coming over.

It was 2 weeks ago Saturday that my husband of 26 years passed at the age of 53 at Hospice from heart failure with only 10-15 percent EF. What a wonderful experience to have been able to stay with him for almost 3 weeks. Although I knew the end was near, never did I realize how very much I would miss him. We have one 22 year old son that was the joy of his life as well as mine. I still don't believe this has happened and the littlest thing can make me cry buckets of tears. Trying to get out of the house a bit, but when I return home, it usually hits me really hard. Still have clothes,etc to deal with. Have not yet returned to work as he was in 4 hospitals before finally going to hospice. Thank goodness I took FMLA to be with him day and night, for that I am so grateful. Bless everyone here for what they are going thru. Blessings, Debbie

you are blessed to have spend the last days of his life with him. if you are on msn add me: syoks@hotmail.com

i like your post Laurieb. if you are on msn add me: syoks@hotmail.com

Sorry for your loss Tenny. Keep posting your feelings. you can add me on your msn: syoks@hotmail.com if you ever want to talk.

My advice is keep praying (ask Jesus if you believe) that He visists you in a dream and don't give up if nothing happens soon; there may be many factors involved, so be patient - but don't give up. I hope taking class will distract you enough and if it doesn't maybe you should try joining a club or anywhere were you can be around other mourners. you can add me on your msn: syoks@hotmail.com

sorry to hear about your recent loss.

thats a nice letter.

I am thinking of volunteering for Hospice as perhaps if I get out of myself and try to care for others much more in need than I

Thanks Laurie For just confirming what i thought.

Fred's sons flew in on Friday and out on Saturday. It was a quick trip but full one. It was a month to the day of Fred's passing. We went through a lot of his things and shared stories. We each had our turn with tears. I really wasn't so ready to let them take any of Fred's things but they don't live close so I didn't tell them that I wasn't ready. They were very kind to me and empathetic. Most of what they took were things that had been stored away. There is a shirt in the closet with the sleeves rolled up. Fred must have just worn it for a couple of hours and rehung it. I put that shirt off limits. When I said goodbye and dropped them off at the airport, I started to cry and sobbed all the way home. I think it was because they are so much a part of him.

I picked up a couple of my grandchildren and kept them for the night. It was a good diversion. But in the morning, it was so obvious that Fred was missing. He always made breakfast with and for them. I couidn't keep the tears from flowing again. I miss him so much and just want him home with me.

Fredzgirl I am sorry you are feeling this way. Keep reading and posting how you are feeling.