MrsH

MrsH, very sorry for your loss. I know what you mean about the downward spiral. My Mom passed May 16th, and we are still waiting for the wall plaque to be ready for the interment and dedication. We have yet to liquidate the assets in her apartment. That should be happening soon, but as soon as I realized this would have to be done, I went down hill, it was like someone tore open a wound that was starting to heal. On top of all of this it seems like I am missing her more each day instead of less. I hope the pain will peak sometime and start to subside. I no longer watch the time every Saturday afternoon (that was when she passed) but I do seem to know it on a subconscious level and get very tired and weepy around that time. I still spend time dazing pretty much everyday. Although I have gone from thinking about her every minute, to maybe a few hours in between. We all grieve differently but share a bond here I think. These people are caring and compassionate and we understand each others pain. Sometimes I just read but do feel the need to reach out to posts such as yours.

May you find healing and peace in your own good time and if you ever want to email me please do not hesitate.

Hugz and healing

Aries

Thank you Aries for all you kind words and everyone's thoughts. I am amazed at how I feel is reflected insome of your words. I did not realize that being dazed is all a part of it. We too, have to liquidate Mum's stuff and it is all painful and filled with memories. Sometimes there is a scent and it is like a knife in my heart at the memory. I have multiple losses like so many of you and I find myself being whittled down by all of this. It took me 5 years to move on from my Dad's death and 10 years after the loss of my sister and her three little ones. Somedays I cannot even put it into words. I think perhaps I need to go to a group here in town? My brother and i just keep putting so many things off, is this normal too? Oh my, when does it stop???

Nicol, Your Grandmother knew how much you cared about and loved her. That is part of her wisdom. You saw her in a dream because of the closeness that the two of you had. It was a very special love that you and she shared. You should cry but you must now also live life as she would want it for you. She wanted you to learn from her and use it in your own life. Come back and talk to the people here, all of us have had losses and can talk to you. Lots of love go out to you Nicol....From another loss sufferer

I lost my Mum at the beginning to June and had to wait until the end of the month to have a memorial service due to the possibility of family members traveling. Why is it that things continue in a downhill spiral after something like this? Or am I just one of the unluckiest persons I know?? I am so tired today, worn out and very tired. Sad too. I know that no one can help me but just wanted to write down what I was feeling and seeing if I could reach anyone in cyberspace.