Hello. My answer is yes to all of the above. I was supposed to go see my dad one year ago on Thanksgiving while I was in his part of the country. I didn't end up going because it was "too out of the way". Little did I know the next time I would see him was in a hospital bed dying. I can't take back that decision, but i sure have been beating myself up about it. But with him it was always "one way". Either I went to see him, or I called him, or I wrote him. For the last ten years or so, he never wrote back, called back,etc. So after awhile I just gave up on him. But now I have figured out that was because of his horrible disease of Alcoholism, which he eventually killed himself with. Some things you just can't undo. But I will always love him, and I feel so bad about not visiting him last year. Just so know, there IS someone else out there like you in regards to your relationship with your dad.
Magdalyn
Hi Magdalyn
I know exactly how you feel. You're right ,some things you can't undo. My father was diagnosed with cancer and spent his last five months with my brother (800kms) away. I did see him in that time but did not go enough. I was not there for him! I spent the last few days with him when he was unconcious. I should've been there earlier... I only had one hour to speak to him before he went unconcious and now I can't forgive myself for it! It has caused me to be depressed and angry with myself and the worst thing is that it cannot be put right, forever!!
What does one do to forgive yourself? I understand where you're coming from, precisely. My dad also was an alcholic but was a dear, gentle soul and now he's gone! Perhaps time will heal, I don't know. Perhaps one must be kinder to other people, older people that need help? Spend time with old people.
Does Anybody Else Feel Guilt, Anger, Resentment Towards Parent's D
in Loss of a Parent or Grandparent
Posted
Hi Magdalyn
I know exactly how you feel. You're right ,some things you can't undo. My father was diagnosed with cancer and spent his last five months with my brother (800kms) away. I did see him in that time but did not go enough. I was not there for him! I spent the last few days with him when he was unconcious. I should've been there earlier... I only had one hour to speak to him before he went unconcious and now I can't forgive myself for it! It has caused me to be depressed and angry with myself and the worst thing is that it cannot be put right, forever!!
What does one do to forgive yourself? I understand where you're coming from, precisely. My dad also was an alcholic but was a dear, gentle soul and now he's gone! Perhaps time will heal, I don't know. Perhaps one must be kinder to other people, older people that need help? Spend time with old people.
Regards
Collis