Joanne

I am so sorry about your mom's passing. I lost my mom 5 weeks ago today and I am still having episodes of denial because it is too painful to accept. I stayed at her house last weekend to be with her husband with my kids. That was soooo painful. I don't know how to get through this and I am sorry others are experiencing such extreme pain. My mom was my angel. She has always been my best friend and my security blanket. She was 60 and died of lung cancer or pneumonia. We are not sure. She went in the hospital on a Friday and died a week later. She was o.k. when she went in however got worse and worse. I wish I had words of advice but I don't. I am sooo sorry for our loss. Hugs Joanne

Paula, I am sorry to hear about Tom. I do have a good support group. I just don't want to bring everybody around me down. I do want to believe that she is with me. Sending strength your way Paula, thank you for sharing.

Cubby, Thanks for sharing, I am really sorry about your loss. Joanne

I want to yell " O.K. JOKES OVER, COME BACK NOW"

Hello, Well it will be 3 weeks since I lost my mom to lung cancer this upcoming Friday. I am starting to get really annoyed that she has not called. I know this sounds strange but in the back of my head I think it just can't be true. I live 2 hours away from where she lived and I can easily convince myself that this is not really happening however the phone is not ringing. It hurts sooo much, what am I going to do without my best friend, my security blanket, my beautiful mother. I want her back. Thanks for letting me vent.. Joanne

Hi Empty Inside, Sorry to hear about your pain. Thanks for letting me know that I am not alone. Joanne

Dee Gee, Thanks for sharing. I am sorry to hear about your husband and you having to go through this. As for the house, I started setting a timer and I tell myself o.k. 15 minutes of organizing or cleaning. If later I want to do another 15 minutes then so be it. How old are your grandkids? Take good care of yourself Hugs Joanne

Deborah, Thank you for your response. I just so wish I could go back in time for things to be normal again. I want to call her so badly today and I am starting to realize that I can't. It pisses me off (excuse my language).. Joanne

Hello, Thank you all for your previous responses. It does help to think there are people who are going through the same thing I am. It has been 2 weeks since my mom passed (that is so difficult for me to say). At the beginning, I was thinking about her and bawling. Now, I have almost convinced myself that it did not happen. I still have my crying fits but somehow I convince myself that I can bring her back or that she is still camping. She died a week after entering hospital. Nobody knew she had lung cancer. She was diagnosed in the hospital. It just can't be real. I also feel very lazy around the house. I am not accomplishing much and I think this kind of irks my hubby. Thanks for listening. Joanne

Dee Gee, I am sorry to hear about your father and husband. You sound like a very strong and wise woman. I hope I can follow your example. Yes, I think both ways has it's own set of hurts and pains. I don't know the other way and I hope I never find out. My mom used to always talked about how she missed her mom and I should have listened more. I never got it and feel like I could have listened to her more talk about her mother. I am going to see a psychologist on Wednesday. I hope to work through some of these issues maybe by starting to believe that she has really passed. ouch!!!!! Thank you for sharing your story with me. Joanne

Laurie, Very sorry to hear about the loss of your husband and grandma. That is so much to deal with. Thank you for your invaluable advice. It really does not seem real right now. I don't want to believe it. Joanne

Valley, Thank you, thank you.. I am sorry that others went through this horrible pain or are going through this horrible nightmare. It does however comfort me that I am not alone. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. You know, what comes to my mind is You cannot describe the love for your child to others who do not have kids. You also cannot describe the lost of a loved one to those who have never lost someone that means the world to them. I used to comfort some of my friends during a loss however I never really got it. I call them now and say I AM SOOO SORRY. I had no idea.. Joanne

Kath, Thanks so much for your response. Wow! It is nice to know that my thoughts and what not are normal. I am sooo sorry you went through a loss too. Was it your husband? It still seems unreal to me and I have not let her go yet. I am keeping her alive in my head. I feel like I could call her and she will be there. Joanne

Wow!! I have never felt such grief and pain in my entire life. My mom entered the hospital 2 weeks ago and died one week later of lung cancer. She was only diagnosed 5 days prior to dying. Yes, she was a smoker. She was having severe shoulder pain however she thought it was her shoulder acting up from laying down on hospital tables undergoing tests. She was on a disability because of her shoulders. Another problem was that she was eating baby food for the last two months. She has had previous stomach and digestive problems and she thought it was her stomach acting up. Meanwhile, I was at Sick Kid's hospital with my son while she was sick. He is 5 and underwent a brain surgery. He is o.k. now. I wasn't as involved as I could of been because my head was elsewhere. My mom is my very best friend. We talked everyday. As a teenager, I rather hang out with my mom than with my friends. She was so special. She never talked bad about anybody and helped everybody whether it was food or shelter. She had an innocent quality about her. Almost like she saw things for the 1st time. It was beautiful. I am in shock, I am in raw raw pain and I feel dead. I have a 4 and 5 yrs old boy so I know I have to continue. I just can't imagine ever being happy again without her. How do you get through this? Thanks for listening. We are catholic and my mom was a big believer so she was not scared to die. I somehow lost my faith along the way and trying to find it again. I want to believe that she is with me. Joanne