Hi everyone. My grandmother passed away last Wednesday and the services were yesterday. I was there when she left this world...and I have never experienced anything like that before. I have cried, pulled together with my family, talked about her and I guess that some small part of me thought that after the funeral, everything would go back to normal. I am back at work today and I feel so weird. I am super-sensitive and I feel empty. I feel like I don't have a right to grieve that much, because she was my grandmother...that my aunts and my dad have more right to grief than I do. But I was really close to her and considered her like a mom. There's just so much going through my head and I can't concentrate on anything. I feel useless at work and it's generating fears of getting fired. That sounds ridiculous, right? And I am afraid that others that I am close to, are going to want me to move on quickly and if I don't, if I show them how I feel, they will not want to be around me anymore. This is just so much harder than I thought it would be and I needed to talk to someone else that understood. I needed to know that I am not crazy or being overly dramatic. I am in therapy and I have an appt tomorrow, so that's something I am grateful for. Because of my past, I have experience with group recovery and this is the first thing that I thought of to try. I would appreciate any experience you could share. Thanks. T
