I have been reading along for some time and I have been trying to piece together responses to others' posts to suit my situation. It's not working. I need some help.
Here's a little bit about me...my mother passed away on February 7th from complications due to a stroke. My mother had many different illnesses during her lifetime. These illnesses included doctor's visits, hospital stays and many many appointments. I attended many appointments with her because her "selective" hearing would routinely provide a diagnosis nowhere near the truth. She and I spoke every day. We had everything in common. Career, politics, life and friends. My mother was the smartest woman I know. She was my best friend and at times she was my worst enemy. My siblings called us co-dependant. I knew my mother wouldn't live forever. I thought I prepared myself.
I have a very demanding career. I am the go-to person for everyone at work, my family and my friends. You know - "that girl". The one who has it together. Well that's not me anymore. I don't sleep. It feels like forever since I've had more that three hours sleep at a time. I don't want to go to work and while I'm at work I don't want to work. I am not very good company. I cry all the time. All the time. So much so that I need to leave the office to clear my head. I get myself so upset I don't come back. Co-workers barely look at me anymore for dreading to catch my tear-filled eyes.
I want to see her again. I want to touch her. Smell her.
I don't recognize myself. This isn't me. I honestly don't know how to go on without her. I'm falling apart.
I want you to know what an amazing woman she was and how much I miss her but, that's all for now.
Christine