FaithFull

Dear Sunstreet,

I am so sorry you had to go through everything associated with your surgery without Melissa. I do hope you continue to regain your emotional strength as well as your physical strength. I am fairly new to this site, but I see many of the same names pop up with encouraging words. It is a good feeling to know we can reach out to each other without fear of being judged.

Take good care,

FaithFull

I, too, have experienced the feeling of being all alone in a crowd ... especially where people were paired off .. even with family and friends. I keep looking around for my special guy ... my rational mind knowing he is gone forever ... my heart still longing to find him standing nearby. Sometimes I made it through these gatherings; other times I just slipped away. Overall, I do believe that time spent with people who truly care about you is extremely important. My thoughts are with you.

FaithFull

Dear NATS I have been watching to see if you would post your results of the nodule in your lung. I prayed for you when I read it, and I pray for you now. I believe this is a good sign that God wants you to go forward with your life and new found Love. I too, found new love after I lost my husband of 40 years. My new found love was a widower, and we were both caught off-guard when we realized we had feelings for each other. My minister (who was also a widower and had re-married) told us that in his experience he found that people who had had happy marriages were more likely to be open to a new relationship. We became engaged Christmas Eve 2008. He died of complications from Melanoma on Dec. 10, 2009. The pain of having lost both these wonderful men is indescribable. So, I prefer to concentrate on the gifts I was given by God that these men became part of my life. They did not look alike physically (with the exception of both having beautiful blue eyes), but they were both men who believed as I do that to love someone is to put that person's needs above one's own. Time with a loved one is precious and never enough; but I wouldn't have missed a second of either relationship.

I wish you Peace...

FaithFull

Your pain is heartbreaking; it comes through in your words. I am a newer member to this sight, but could immediately see the benefit of communicating with people who "get it". I'm sure your Mark did not want to leave you; he sounds like a wonderful person who came into your life and made it better. Maybe it would be helpful to ask yourself, "What would Mark want me to do now? If I were the one who had died, what would I have wanted Mark to do?" Please take care.

As I stated in my previous post, I lost my husband of 40 years to cancer 4 years ago and then my fiance died of cancer 8 months ago. A few months before my husband died we moved from our home of 30 years to a retirement community that was close to our only child and grandchildren. Now my little family has to move to another state for one year to fulfill a military obligation. I am trying to be strong and present a positive attitude for my family's sake. I know they know how much this is hurting me. I am struggling to stay active, but find there are days when I can't seem to get anything done. Something as simple as doing the dishes seems like an enormous chore and, why bother? There will be more dishes later. Some days I feel so selfish and weak, knowing there are families that face much more difficult situations. However, in my state of grief, I see their moving away as another form of loss. Thanks for listening.

I never thought I would be alone at this time of my life. Although it has been a year since I lost Pat there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I could go back in time. I really thought that I was making progress. I had been staying busy and having some really good days, even weeks and then this weekend I lost my beloved pet that I had for eighteen years. I know some of you may think I am being silly but I feel I am back at square one. I have that huge hole in my heart all over again and I feel so lost.

Kat

Kat,

Be kind to yourself during these next few weeks. The death of a pet can be devastating, I know. Years ago, when my sweet dog died suddenly after 9 years of loyal companionship, I suffered from a non-clinical depression for several months. I think it might have been C.S.Lewis who wrote, "All great love will eventually end in great pain". Be it for a person or an animal, would we have missed knowing that love in order to avoid the pain of the loss? I think not.

Hi,

Even though I don't post much at all I'm on every night. It will be 11 months tomorrow since my husband died suddenly at age 44. I still can't believe it and often feel it's a horrible dream. I have relocated to another state to be near family, but am really missing the old home not sure if I made the right decision! I have no feelings toward our new home could care less. I guess it's just so sad how it all came about not the way it was suppose to be when we moved. Part of me wants to go backwards instead of forwards has anyone else experienced this before? I just don't want to let go, but what am I holding on to?? All our dreams are gone just so lost hate making all this big decisions all by myself. This house holds no memories of him I still picture him walking through the door of our old home. It was hard being in that home, but also comforting at the same time. Moving forced me to deal with being alone can't pretend anymore. Thanks for listening I guess I just miss the life I had and hope for brighter days ahead!

When I questioned whether I had made the right decision of moving to a home closer to family, my dear friend sent me this quote: "They whom we love and lose are no longer where they were before. They are now wherever we are." Hopefully you can find some solace in this as I did.

My husband of almost 40 years died from esophageal cancer in 2006. I later met a widower in a support group who had also been happily married almost 40 years. We became friends and later found ourselves falling in love ... something neither one of us ever expected to happen again!! During this time he was diagnosed with melanoma. Many of my friends and family, even his family, questioned why I would want to go "down that road" again. As far as I was concerned, there were never any guarantees -- either one of us could become ill, have a fatal accident, etc. So, we continued to make our plans to marry and became engaged Christmas Eve 2008. He passed away 8 months ago today of complications from the melanoma. I not only grieve for him, but now find myself grieving for my husband much as I did when he first died. I am grateful to God for the gift of love and being loved; not everyone has that in their lives. Still, sometimes the pain is almost unbearable. You all know that feeling of expecting the phone to ring with your loved one calling, seeing him or her smile and hearing their laughter, waiting for your loved one to walk through the door, seeing something or hearing something that you want so desperately to share with that one person who would appreciate it ... I don't know what God's plan is for me now; but I will try to be alert to what He may be trying to tell me. I wish you all Peace.