MysticBlndMist

A poem the minister read at my mom's memorial. Somewhat comforting. MISS ME - BUT LET ME GO When I come to the end of the road And the sun has set for me I want no rites in a gloom-filled room. Why cry for a soul set free? Miss me a little--but not too long And not with your head bowed low. Remember the love that we once shared Miss me--but let me go. For this is a journey that we all must take And each must go alone. It's all a part of the Master's plan A step on the road to home. When you are lonely and sick of heart Go to the friends we know And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds. Miss Me - But Let me Go!

I want to thank everyone who shared their stories and all the kind words. I really appreciate it. I have read each and find myself spending a fair bit of time on this site doing reading and reading how certain feelings are so common to feel after one's passing... I have been through several family members passings..... (2 sisters, my step dad and bio dad being the closest even a fiancee who died serving) But my mom's death has just been so hard but I am slowly trying to let some of the feelings go...which I know will take quite some time but I am trying.This afternoon is my mom's memorial service.. Again I thank you for your response, means alot.

I am new here, just decided to search for a online support group to help with losing a loved one and found this one. Have read a few people's stories on here and believe I may have found the right place as so much of it is exactly how I feel right now. I lost my mother one week ago today, my mom was also my best friend . She was also another mother to my children, right down to the fact they called her mom to. She was only 68 years old. (I am 30) On October 4th she took a heart attack was taken to a hospital that dealt with heart attacks and a stent put in, she was released from the hospital on October 7th, came home and everything seemed normal again but on the afternoon of October 10th she took a stroke. She suffered a left side middle hemisphere stroke, That day completely changed my life , I went to the hospital every day to see her and talk with her, after about a month she was able to get off the feeding tube and placed on a softened food and thickened liquid diet.... she was starting to get the small ability to move her left leg again ( nothing with the right arm though) but she kept coming down with infections and Pneumonias, I had one call days after her stroke telling me they were moving her to ICU and that the end was near, got to the hospital and her condition hadn't really changed from the day before. But again one after another infections she kept coming down with. She was to be moved to Continuing Complex Care after she was able to get out of Acute Care but never made it to CCC as she kept getting the infections. It was extremely painful to see my mom the way she was , she had gone from being healthy and lively to being bed ridden and in constant pain but her mind was still fully there with very little to no confusion. I took her stroke very hard for the first 3 weeks but then read about recoveries of so many people and it gave me hope that she could get better ( or at least better then she was then) and that she was still alive. Well the doctors had figured that she was never going to be able to return home ( we lived together with my children) and that a nursing home would be the best place later on, they told me it was going to be a very long road leading downhill. I was unable to get to see her much during the month of Jan because of so many issues I had to deal with and felt really very bad about it especially consider I had gone to see her pretty much every day for the 3 months prior. Anyways I had gone to see her the Monday prior to her death and she was high spirited and very chatty. Again due to other issues I was unable to get to see my mom for the remainder of the week. On Saturday Feb 12 afternoon I received a phone call letting me know she was having "a bit of a rough day". I was at home with the kids and unable to get to the hospital and told the nurse that and that I would be in the next day they said no problem and I figured I would make it in the next day ( they had called me in the past letting me know she was having a bad day before and everything was fine). At 4:05 AM on Sunday morning I received the phone called I didn't want to hear that my mom had passed away. I never received a phone call letting me know her condition was getting worse and that she was not going to make it or anything. The Monday before I had told my mom I had been sorry for not making it in as often as I was before because of other issues but my last words to my mom were basically that I would be in the next day but again unable to I never got to see her again before she died. I feel I lied to my mom. I sit here and wonder if my mom felt abandoned because I hadn't been around as often ( I was basically the only one that went to see her), I have not heard how she died, she did not have an infection or anything at the time of her death and am now starting to seek answers to the questions I have. I know its probably a blessing as she is no longer suffering or in pain as she had been for the 4 months and 2 days before her death, and I feel selfish in how I am feeling by missing her so much and knowing I will never see or hear or get advise from her ever again. Just flat out missing my mom! I've made the memorial arrangements ( This coming Wednesday is the service) and I've had to deal with this on my own, its been very difficult and emotional doing so. I really don't have any family as 2 sisters and my father and step father have all passed away. Alot of my friends thankfully have not had to go through this. And I honestly don't know how to cope or grieve. People ask me how I am feeling and I just say ok, when on the inside I'm just broken and so lost. I guess if anyone has any advise I would appreciate it.