ashleybatt

Thank you i appreciate the thought

I was perfectly fine today. I have my good days and my bad ones when it comes to grieving the loss of my mom. I was fine until i got a letter saying congrats that i have made the deans list in college. My first immediate thought is that i have to tell my mom. My mom always rooted for me especially when it came to school. Honestly she always told me she was proud of me even when i felt like there was nothing to be proud of. i havent even told anyone about the letter because i know she was the one who would have cared the most. it's not a big deal about making the list, it's just knowing i cant share things like these anymore that hurts the most. The reality sets back in that those moments are gone and i have no choice but to live with it. and knowing i have to live the rest of my life not having her support makes me feel hopeless. Today is just a bad day, tomorrow will be better i hope.

Babypod, It's ok to feel angry its one of the many phases of grief that we all experience. Your grandma seemed like a tough woman who im sure you are very proud of. It's so hard when a loved one has suffered and your left pondering every little detail of their death. I do the same thing I truly believe your grandma is in a better place watching over you, rooting for you, loving you, and seeing you through this time. I hope you find comfort knowing your not alone. Hugs

Bella Rosa, I know what you mean reading the book definitely brought out a lot of different emotions. I cried most of the way through.

Hi Everyone, I know we all find ways to feel better and deal with the loss of our loved ones. I thought i would share a book that has helped me feel a bit better. Grieving the Death of A Mother by Herold Ivan Smith. It has quotes and stories of people losing their mothers in many ways. It reminds us that grief doesn't have an expiration date and no one should be felt to "get over it". I related to it very much and maybe you will too. One of my favorite quotes from the book is "my mother taught me everything, except how to live without her". Because i know this is how i feel everyday. I know in this life i am loved by my friends and fiance. However i dont think anyone will ever love me more than my mom did. And i know this sounds horrible, but i don't know if anyone elses love will ever be enough ....Does anyone else feel the same??

Angel, Thank you so much for sharing your story. It amazes me that your grandma was able to keep your grandfathers memory so alive that you even felt a connection with him with never physically knowing him. I will try my hardest to keep that memory alive for my future children, in hopes that they can someday understand the person my mother was. It makes me sad that my brother's children can look at a photo of my mom, and they dont even know who she is. I totally understnd what you mean by your family moving on, but you are still very much in pain. I feel the same way with my brother and sister. They seem to only want to point out my mother's downfalls in life rather than the overall wonderful person she was. It hurts a lot especially since we are barely a family since she is gone. But we do need to find ways to make going on in life a little easier. Thanks again, and im sure your grandma and grandpa are proudly looking down on you. ashley

Thank you to you all for your kind words. It gives me great comfort knowing that i am not alone in feeling this way. Each one of your stories has helped. Thank You

Hello, I am new to the site and just read your story. I am deeply sorry for the loss of your mom and dad. From what i read your mom seems to be an incredible person with many achievements. Reading about your sister made me think om my siblings and I when our mother passed away two years ago. I know you don't understand why your sister has changed for the worse, and when my mother passed my brother and sister didn't seem as hurt as me, my sister started relying on alcohol more and more. I soon realized that even though we we all had the same mom, we didn't all have the same relationship with her. each one of us felt differently about her and our reaction to her death very different. I am the one taking her death the hardest and it hurt me for a while because i felt like they didn't care as much. However i know now that's not it. Everyone grieves differently. Maybe your sister hasn't chosen this path, but her grief has pushed her down this path instead. Maybe sitting down and talking things out, sharing how you both feel, can help you guys better understand each other. I hope you guys find some sort of comfort in knowing you are not alone.

everyone who has lost someone they love, i am truly sorry for your loss. I lost my mother about two years ago from lung disease. She was my best friend and since her death my life has felt meaningless. My friends and fiance try to understand but they have never dealt with loss of a parent. She was my only parent and i dont have a big family so it was always her and I. My brother and sister are older and werent very close with her like i was so I am grieving differently then them. They are moving on quite well but i cant seem to. I am not alone in life but without her i feel utterly alone. i relive the last moments always feeling guilty thinking i could have done more for her. The sadness is overwhelming. Sometimes i feel like i will never regain a sense of happiness again. i just want to feel better. even though no one actually says it they expect me to move on. I will be married soon, knowing my mother will not watch my walk down the aisle or my future children not knowing how wonderful she was is heartbreaking. The day my mom died a piece of myself died as well. I dont know how to feel better.