I am new to this website because I just lost my mother on Saturday, August 6, 2011. I am an only child and my father is gone, so I feel so alone. I am finding it hard to function, but I am a single mom of three children, so I need to pull myself together. My mother and I were closer than two people could ever possibly be. She gave birth to me after 13 years of trying, and dedicated herself to me 100%. We were together every single day. She helped me with my children ever since they were born, even when I was still married.
My mom had not been to a doctor in 30 years until she decided to do something about her cataracts on her eyes. The eye doctor would not remove them until she had a physical. The physical turned up two aneurysms, one near the heart, the other near her diaphragm. She decided to have them fixed so she could see her grandchildren graduate. She had the first surgery in November, and was home in 7 days, back to driving in a month. The second surgery was March 22. This surgery caused one complication after another. She stayed in the hospital for 11 days, came home for 4 days, had to go back to the hospital, was moved the an Acute Long Term Care Hospital, got septic, went back to the original hospital for 6 weeks, healed to the point that she was moved back to an ALTC, got septic again after a week and a half, was moved back to the original hospital, and passed away.
I am devastated beyond belief. I took care of her every single day after she got septic. When she was moved to the final hospital, she was unconscious. I stayed by her side until the nurse's said it was time. And the thing that I can't get off my mind is her smile. She was unconscious, but right before she passed, she smiled. I have searched everywhere to see if this is a normal process of death, but can find nothing. I just want to know if anyone has experienced this. I would really appreciate someone responding,I want to know what that smile meant. Everyone says "she was at peace", but that is not good enough. I need to know if she really was at peace and happy or if it was a muscle spasm that can be explained by Science. Thank you to anyone who will share their experience or knowledge.
