blujonny

Hi Miss Ngu, I just felt I had to say my thoughts go out to you regarding what you're going through right now. I know it must be hard to feel like you take the world on your back sometimes and yet you have no control over what you feel at the same time.

Blujonny

I would definitely try to follow any and all possible leads.

Hello everyone,

Firstly if you here it means you are somehow grieving. To anyone who reads this, I am sorry for your loss.

I am here as I lost my mum very suddenly on the 19th of April this year, I also lost my dad to cancer 11 years ago.

The day after loosing my mum I felt like a different person, I felt like I had been re-plotted on a graph, like my whole

world had changed. I have read some of your moving posts and I am also experiencing panic attacks. I attempted to go back to work after only

two weeks and had a massive panic attack while at work, shortly after my doctor suggested I take more time off.

I also feel very anxious all the time, I worry constantly about everything and worry about how I am going to cope with everyday life when I do eventually get back to work.

My family live quite far away on both sides and my fathers side have not even phoned to see if im ok, just one cousin. My mums side have been at the other end of the phone

but I appear to be taking all their comments as negative and my request for help with clearing the house has fallen on deaf ears. I am trying to do everything on my own.

I keep trying to remind myself that I am not alone as I have had friends over and people calling to see how I am, but can't help feeling so lost at the moment. I take everything people

say the wrong way and repeat in my head things people have said with anger sometimes, for example a friend yesterday said " Oh what a great life you lead" as im not working at the moment!

I try to not be too sensitive as people can't go around treading on egg shells, but its very hard sometimes. I am also trying to remind myself that unless you have lost someone close you could

never understand. I have now lost both my parents, and its the most horrible feeling in the world. I also think its sometimes that people don' think before they speak. Oh I don't know. Has anyone else

experienced this?

It has only been a month and a half, nearly two since my mum has passed away but I feel that I can't really talk about how I feel to anyone, and sometimes get

the feeling like I am a burden on people. I spoke with a councillor the other day and am arranging some help for myself. I feel there is so much I need to say but get the

feeling people just don't want to listen. I am only 32 and have no partner, (sometimes I think this is a good thing as I can only cope with dealing with myself a the the moment)

I was just wondering if anyone else was in this situation? If there is anyone out there who is I would love to hear from you.

Stay strong everyone

x

Hi, I'm 38 and lost my dad almost 2 years ago. I have been there, panic attacks, extreme anxiety and all and have emerged from it. If you need someone to discuss a part of what you're going through please let me know through the message option. It unnerves me seeing people going through grief alone as I went through it mostly alone and know how straining it can be to feel so alienated and abandoned.

I lost my dad a few months ago and I am amazed at how lonely grief is. Losing my dad has been overwhelming and heartbreaking, but as the months have passed added to that is loneliness. I have a support system and people who love me, but it feels like I can no longer talk to them about losing my dad. He was my touch stone and losing him has really shaken me. But, it seems that people no longer want to discuss it, or if it is brought up all you see is a look of pity on their face and a quick change of topic. I keep up a strong face and grieve quietly because it's easier than the conflict that occurs if my grief is visible. My 40th birthday is in 12 days and I gradute from Grad school in December, but for each of these things the first thing that comes to mind is that my dad won't be there, and a sense of loneliness envelopes me. I thank each of you on this forum for the opportunity to voice my feelings without feeling like I am bringing anyone else down. Thank you!

Hi Beth, I lost my dad almost two years ago, he wasn't even 60. I'm almost 38. One thing that stands out is that somehow I feel like I missed out. If you need someone to understand where you're coming from please let me know. Maybe we could message back and forth. Personally I still have things that bother me and I always have time and space to empathize with others going through the same thing.

It seems like your mother was never acknowledged as a child or maybe her expectations of life had been skewed during her upbringing. As for you, you need to be acknowledged too. I don't think facing your mother head on will get you or her anywhere even though it seems like you want closure and reconciliation. If you really do want to connect with your mother I suggest you do it either by mail or email. The hard part is how to get her to interact but the easy part is to call her out on her emotions. I would write her a letter and tell her that she has nowhere to hide because you know that she is angry, bitter, etc - you just don't know why. The more you call her out on her emotions without trying to tell her why you think she's like that and without trying to sympathize with her, in fact being neutral, the more likely it will be that eventually she will probably crack just enough to where she may reveal something that she's holding in, something that triggers all her resentment and judging personality. The worst thing though is to try to reconcile with her in person.

It seems like this is a real emotional battle for you. It must be tiring to have to try to keep running away from that which bothers you and even facing it sometimes.