Dcolb

hockeymom,

I'm also sorry for your pain. I think it helps me to share and read others story. I know I'm not alone.

Thank you for your kind words. I had family visit this week and it really helped.Considering all my has disowned me but some of my cousins and my Dad's sister. I don't know what it is about the five year anniversary either. I hate dates. I hare his death date, his birthday, surgery day, funeral dates. I'm sorry for your pain also.

My dear friend,

Please accept my deepest sympathy for the terrible losses you've endured. Of course it hurts, and I'm so very sorry that you're in such pain. You don't say what, if any, outside support you've obtained for your grief, but I hope you haven't tried to endure these losses all by yourself. For example, are you familiar with the MISS Foundation (Mothers in Sympathy and Support)?

At first i joined a few support groups. But people say things that hurt I know they don't mean to. I was taking meds. Now I go to therapy and take meds for PTSD

Thank you so much. You also are in my thoughts.

Oct 11 will be 5 years since I lost my Dad. He had back surgery and lived for 14 months. It was a living nightmare. I was the closet to him. It has ruined my life. I love and miss his so much. I don't know how to get over this pain. There's not a pill that will take it away not any amount of therapy will ease the pain. He was murdered in my eyes by people we trusted. I hate myself for not doing more. I live in pain every day. Can someone please tell me when this pain will ease. Please.

I lost our twins in 2009. They were born at 23 weeks. Addison lived for 2 weeks. Alexa for 4 months. It kills my soul. I lost my Dad in 2007 to failed back surgery And he was overdosed on Heperin. It hurts. I just want the pain to go away.

I hate you. I hate everything about you. I wish you would leave and never come back , let this broken heart heal. I despise everything about you. Why can't you let me be and become who I was before. You come in and out of my life as you please. You send messages from others who think they know me and my feelings. They said in time you'll leave me when is that time going to be here. As hard as I try I always seem to give in to you. I give you want you Want. The tears, the depression, the broken heart that will never heal. Please go away and let me be. I'm tired. I've tried to beat you in the past but it never worked. I try and put on a smile during the holidays and be happy for my loved ones but there you sit like a black cloud hanging over my every move.  You come to me in my dreams, awakening me in a panic, you lie to me and say you'll leave only to return, ten times stronger than before. They say there's a pill that will take the edge off however there's nothing that will ever take you out of my life for good. Please release me from your bonds of misery. Let me go. Let me smile again and live life to its fullest while I still have time. Don't let my children Remember me the way I remember my Daddy in pain from lost loved ones. 

Grief I hate you.